Maundy Thursday/Good Friday

Matthew 26: 20-30
20When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. 21And while they were eating, he said, "I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me."
22They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, "Surely not I, Lord?"
23Jesus replied, "The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. 24The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born."
25Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, "Surely not I, Rabbi?" Jesus answered, "Yes, it is you."
26While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body."
27Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. 28This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 29I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it anew with you in my Father's kingdom."
30When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

Mark 14: 17-26
17When evening came, Jesus arrived with the Twelve. 18While they were reclining at the table eating, he said, "I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me—one who is eating with me."
19They were saddened, and one by one they said to him, "Surely not I?"
20"It is one of the Twelve," he replied, "one who dips bread into the bowl with me. 21The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born."
22While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take it; this is my body."
23Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, and they all drank from it.
24"This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many," he said to them. 25"I tell you the truth, I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it anew in the kingdom of God."
26When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
"Meanwhile," said Mr. Tumnus, "it is winter in Narnia, and has been for ever so long, and we shall both catch cold if we stand here talking in the snow. Daughter of Eve from the land of Spare Oom where eternal summer reigns around the bright city of War Drobe, how would it be if you came and had tea with me?"

"Thank you very much, Mr. Tumnus," said Lucy. "But I was wondering whether I ought to be getting back."

"It's only just around the corner," said the Faun, "and there'll be a roaring fire-and toast-and sardines-and cake."

"Well, it's very kind of you," said Lucy.

Today I pray that we remember always- that of which we are capable, and also that of which He is capable.

Remember when I was whining about my long Wednesdays stuck in the church?

My day: hit snooze, hit snooze, hit snooze, stumble out of bed and into my PDA blue shirt and the same pants I've worn every day this week, pick up two teens and a big truck, drive to the warehouse, pick out tons of donated furniture, drive to Waveland, drop off furniture, quick prayer, run by Long Term Recovery office to sign grant applications, eat lunch with two (now I've discovered them to be awesome) teens, drop off more furniture in Biloxi, receive random phone calls from homeowners/caseworkers/staff, drop amazing teens off at the warehouse to help out over there for the rest of the day, drive to church, meet with a homeowner in tears because she received a demo order from the city today, pray, unload trash from the truck while visiting with PDA friend, deal with rough surprise visit from a homeless family, get them food, talk with other staff and pastor, help homeless family try to find some resources, freak out, pray, cry, tell family that I have to call child protective services, cry, pray, run back up to the office, stall, buy a plane ticket, wait for my last appointment of the day, stall, receive mail- package from my dad (hurray), appointment is a no show, get back in the truck, call cps from the truck while driving to the warehouse for the third time today, cry, cry, cry, pray, arrive at warehouse and find two awesome teens helping a lady load her car full of free furniture, notice that the car is too full and she still needs more stuff, offer to take some stuff in the big truck, load a fridge and the heaviest couch ever into the truck, drive to lady's house, step in red-ant hill the size of Mt. Everest, unload fridge and couch, drive back to church, drop off the two coolest teens ever, go to meeting with boss, drive home to sit on porch with PDA friend, eat dinner that awesome housemate cooked, run to prayer meeting at church, cry, pray, cry, pray, drive to pick up roommate at the airport, back to the apartment, enjoy spontaneous party at apartment with program coordinators/roommates/roommate's family, grilled by roommate's sister about roommate's new boyfriend, work on crossword puzzle, give in to the day, pray for the Thomases and all the struggling families on the Gulf Coast, hit the bed. Whew.

2 days until mom arrives on the coast! (And just in time.....)

Case of the Mundays....

7:15am Off to Church and then to Pascagoula (25 miles east of Gulfport) for the Rebuild Jackson County meeting.
10:00am Two meetings down, hit Gautier to stop in on a friend who works for PDA over there. 10:03am Friend has the day off. Darn.
10:35am Back at church, but just for 15 minutes then I HAVE to go. Frantically check email and try to figure out what is going on with this odd grant application that is due today. Receive call from lovely youth leader in NY who is working with a team of first and second graders to raise money to buy furniture for a little girl for who's family we're currently building a house. Receive a surprise drop-in visit from a man with whom I've been working through Handsboro's homeless ministry. He just popped in to volunteer today and is looking for a rake. Receive a call from downstairs that one of our homeowners has stopped in to see me. Go downstairs to speak with homeowner and end up in theological discussion over forgiveness, anger and love. Hum...(see yesterday's post).
12:45pm What happened to 15minutes?! Ah. Got to get to Diamondhead. Take the mini-van because my car is out of gas again. First, must run home for quick food intake.
1:00pm Eat lunch with lovely housemate. Have funny conversation. Yay for the day.
1:20pm Out the door for Diamondhead (20 miles west of Gulfport) to visit a homeowner. Discuss his very complicated rebuilding problems. Stress. Pray. Drive to the church in Diamondhead to visit housemate/coworker. Sitting in a tent outside the church, annoyed that someone has interrupted our conversation, I randomly check my email. Get angry that I can check my email in a freaking tent in Diamondhead but not in my freaking office. Am struggling to move past that when I read that I was given bad information or misunderstood information earlier and that I really can apply for that odd grant for some homeowners. Frantically work with housemate/coworker to complete grant application. Conveniently forget that I am supposed to be back early to put a casserole in the oven for the last night of my women's bible study.
4:30 pm Remember that I am supposed to be back early to put a casserole in the oven for the last night of my women's bible study. Crap. Oh, and never mind about those two other home visits I had planned for today.
4:32pm Blow out of Diamondhead.
5:00pm Arrive at Handsboro, run up to the church to turn in the van keys. Find a bunch of phone messages on my desk- Erin call this homeowner, Erin call this homeowner, Erin call this homeowner, Erin call dear Gautier friend, he misses you. Chuckle over sweet note. Ask boss if I can hang on to the keys to the mini-van in case I don't have time to gas up my car in the morning. Boss says okay.
5:15pm Go to load up the little green car and spot ANOTHER FLAT TIRE. (The 4th this year for anyone counting.) Fight off the urge to give in to the full temper-tantrum I deserve. Grab my stuff and start walking home.
5:23pm Arrive home. No time to reheat casserole. Pull out sandwich tray left-over from Episcopal not-so-young-adult party. Finish bible study. Frost Brenna's cake.

6:15pm Off to bible study. Show up frazzled and frustrated. It shows. Receive big hug from bible study host, and local resident. Immediately put back in my place. I have no reason to be this frazzled when I chose to come down here and help out. Decide to get over myself. Enjoy two and a half hours of conversation, fellowship and food with 5 lovely women.
9:00pm Run off to meet up with friends to watch the NCAA Final at Orange Grove PDA camp. Saddened by the lack of Big Boppers (my favorite PDA ice cream treat) but enjoying the company of friends. Also read a little while watching the game- come on- I came in at the second half when it was really already over.
10-something pm Put a toolbox on my lap when I get into a big red truck for the ride home with three boys to my double-wide by the bayou. I would write about the conversation, but it simply isn't appropriate for blogging. I will say that it was appropriate for the situation (read: truck, tool box, three boys, double-wide= my Mississippi Life).
11-something pm Home at last. Ready for blog, book, Gilmore Girls and bed. Tell the Bobs to analyze that!

PS- Where is my stapler?

Palm Sunday at Handsboro

Anger vs. Love......a random ranting to follow:

Warning: this is not one of my usual posts about the goings ons of life in Gulfport, Mississippi, but rather a little insight to what's heavy on my mind and heart tonight. As this year is spent in service and spiritual development, I add it here most just to get it off my own mind, but also to let you (those who support and love me) know that there is more going on in my life down here than drywall, shingles, and insulation.

Tonight my housemate Brenna led our little Mississippi family in a bible study on the emotion of anger. A discussion ensued over how God calls us to treat those with whom we are angry: whether we should be patient and wait for God to take vengeance or if we should proceed with kindness, love and forgiveness. That is, when we’re angry do we just give that anger up to God knowing that She’ll get those nasty suckers back for us, or should we treat those nasty suckers with kindness anyway because God’s really above all that punishment stuff?

I don’t know. None of us did. I’d guess that no one really knows. That’s one of the reasons why we’re constantly over analyzing the bible like a bunch of women gossiping over coffee. There are too many stories to suggest that either approach is appropriate and holy and all that jazz.

God’s given us brains, conversations, stories, examples, experiences and many, many lessons, but still so many of us find ourselves drowning in anger and confusion over what to do with those with whom we're angry.

For most of my life I’ve felt nearly consumed by anger. I've been angry at myself, my parents, my teachers, my friends, my church, my community, my co-workers, my government, my sister, and even at God herself for all of the pain and suffering and senselessness She allows among her children.

As I was silently (yes, it happens occasionally) grappling with these thoughts, Brenna wisely pointed out that our anger is so often bound tightly with our love. We’re angry with children who put themselves in danger because we don’t want to see them hurt. We’re angry with politicians who don’t clean up our cities because we want our neighborhoods to thrive. We’re angry with friends who disappoint us because we share so much joy in their successes. We’re angry with organizations who fail us because we are clinging to the hope of what they might accomplish.

I have so many memories of talking with my sisters for hours over the anger that caused the most pain for much of my life- my relationship with my little sister. The thought that all of those conversations about anger, frustration and hurt really coming from a place of love had never entered my mind until my little sister died and I immediately began hating myself for all of the anger. During those first few hours, one of the wisest women I know, who'd talked through the situation with me over the years, shared with me that all of my angry words about my little sister had always struck her with a sense of love.

This now takes me to my present anger, focused on God for allowing the hurt, pain and sorrow that exists in my heart and in God's world. The anger that God removed any chance I’ll ever have of reconciling with my sister. The anger over the idea that God would allow a young child to be raised without knowing the mother who birthed her. The anger towards a God who would allow entire communities to be washed away by storm, war, or famine. What if all that anger also comes from love? From wanting to know, understand, and love God more closely and clearly? Maybe then, all this anger I have stored up is actually exactly the what will bring me closer to fully loving God. Maybe, in my all anger, I already do.

Hum….

Tonight I am thankful for God's constant love, even when I am angry with her.

'Nuff Said

Wish List- Just for those who asked or might be interested

Not everyone has the time or money to come down to the Gulf Coast and put up drywall, lay flooring or run electrical wire. But everyone really can contribute to the rebuilding effort. Recently, several people have asked me how they can help:

1. Pray! These people need all the prayers you can offer: for homeowners, pastors, the homeless, construction workers, volunteers, emergency responders, government leaders...

2. Send some love. Right now we could really use the following:

For homeowners: Lowes gift cards (for construction materials), Sears gift cards (for appliances and household necessities).

For our homeless ministry: shampoo (even those little bottles you take from hotels), laundry detergent, gas cards.

For Easter: Any baskets or fun stuff to give to the kids at Andy's Club, local children and special needs homeonwers.

For our pastors: Notes of encouragement and hope.

For our congregations: Many of the Gulf Coast Presbyterian Churches sponsor dinner and fellowship with members, volunteers and homeowners, on weekday nights. I am sure they'd love some Winn Dixie or Sam's Club gift cards to defer the cost of the meals.

Any of the above can be sent to me at:
Erin Counihan
Presbytery of Mississippi Disaster Recovery
1304 E. Pass Road
Gulfport, MS 39507

Today....

....I woke up and searched property rolls to verify homeowner information. Sleepy.
....I went to a Long Term Recovery Meeting to learn about the $435million the state has in funding for hazard mitigation, that they still haven't exactly figured out how to disburse and share with homeowners in desperate need. Frustrated.
....I presented a case to the Long Term Recovery Committee in order to apply for funding for building materials and was told I needed to go back to the client and get more personal information to share with a room full of strangers who get to decide which people are most deserving of assistance. More frustrated and almost angry.
....I had lunch with fellow volunteers working at another camp in town. Happy and full.
....I went with my program coordinator to pick out a new wheel for Burt, the green machine. Thrilled to have fixable car and support of program coordinator.
....I returned to the office to push some paperwork and call some homeowners. Busy.
....I met with a casework volunteer who is kicking butt and helping lots of homeowners in the devastated East-Biloxi neighborhood. Inspired.
....I checked the mail at work and received a sweet card (and check!) from a wonderful church member back home. Loved.
....I called a college friend and learned that she got engaged over the weekend. Beaming with joy for K and J.
....I walked with my housemate who's in the midst of a work crisis. Back to frustrated and a bit heart-broken.
....Ate dinner with housemates and program coordinator and reminisced about our old, wild college ways and funny things that gross boys do. Old.
....Sat down to reflect on the day, say a little prayer and think about how to do it all again tomorrow, plus Wednesday office hours. Tired. Excited. Frustrated. Ready. Unprepared. Hopeful. Hopeful. Hopeful.

My favorite Sunday of the year.....so far:

Two great church services, chatting with volunteers readying to return home, fun lunch on a blanket outside with housemates, playing at the beach all day with housemates and pastor's 5-year-old daughter, spontaneous BBQ at home and a little Apples to Apples to end the day.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT THE BIG NEWS!

My brother-in-law, Rob, made it back from Iraq today!

We're all so grateful for his safe return!

Saturday

Okay, so I didn't find a new wheel, bake cookies or change my attitude today. Duuurrrr.

Instead, I woke my bum up early and went to the church Advance today. They didn't want to call it a retreat, so they called it an Advance. Despite the funny name game, it actually was a day well spent.

I was witness to 7 people fighting, really and truly fighting to do God's work in their community. These people took the whole day out of their lives to talk about how to be better friends, caregivers, teachers, listeners and worshipers. It was awesome just to be among them. Just to take the time out of our busy existences to think about how we can do that, individually and collectively.

Then the Advance leader kept talking. And talking. And talking.

Just like any church retreat I've ever been a part of, there was a lot of good substance and a bunch of baloney all rolled up into one messy package. But I left that place with such hope for these two struggling congregations that I'm sharing with down here. And I left with a lot more hope in my own personal faith journey.

And it is still beautiful here! I am in love with March in Mississippi.

Not just a flat tire.

I'm driving to a home visit in Pass Christian when all the sudden my car shudders, I hear a pop and the green machine begins to veer off the road. I end up half-way in the ditch with my right front tire blown. Urg. Physically I'm fine (Mom, really, I'm fine). After I utter a few choice swear words, I throw on my hazards and jump out to inspect the damage. The mangled rubber from the tire is so meshed in the swampy mud that I can't really tell how bad this bad situation really is from this angle. Now, the feminist in me wants to say that I didn't panic, I rolled up my sleeves and handled the situation. And that's almost how it happened. I called a housemate, a co-worker and even my dad, and they were all totally unable to help me. So I decided that I had to fix this. I needed to fix something today. Something! So, I read my owner's manual (who's the smarty who thought to give those away with the cars?) and learned that I really shouldn't attempt to change the tire while my car tilts precariously into the swampy ditch. So, even though somewhere in my memory I thought I recalled my dad saying that I should NEVER drive on a flat, I risked my life, and my wheel, and backed myself out of the ditch and on to level, dry land. I pulled out the spare and began working on those lug nuts. A sweet old man pulled up and offered to show me his trick for how to loosen the lug nuts and talked me through most of the process. As we talked about cycling, kyaking, dogs, trees, and all things Pass Christian, this man restored my hope in this community. He was sweet and patient. He was helpful but didn't try to save me. He and his dog wanted to make sure that I was doing the work, and that I knew what I was doing, so that I'd know how to do it all next time if I ended up alone again. It was sunny and lovely and really, not too bad of an experience. Until Mr. Mississippi Mud drove up. This guy, in his big red truck, wanted to force his way on the entire situation. I know he meant well and that he wanted to help me. But he was what a yankee like me would categorize as a classic southern man- pushing his way where it wasn't needed. While these two men duked it out over how much pressure I should have in the doughnut tire and which directions I should follow to get to the scrapyard to look for a new wheel, I was changing the freaking tire. After a quick trip to Mr. Sweet's house to put more air in the doughnut (both men agreed that it wasn't safe for me to drive home on only 15 whatevers of pressure when the tire says it needs 60 whatevers) via his air compressor--- side note: why does every man in Mississippi own an air compressor?---I drove back to the church safely on my little doughnut.

So here's the thing. I think that when I work down here I'm often more like Mississippi Mud and I'd rather be more like Mr. Sweet. That's the thing with all this disaster recovery stuff. Folks from all over come down here and want to help. But then we want to push our way on this place, without asking how they'd have us help. We blow in to town and want to fix, fix, fix. We mean well. We just want to help. But it is cold. And arrogant. And rough.

Tomorrow I've got to work on finding a new wheel (tire's fine, but the wheel is toast), bake some cookies (for Mr. Sweet) and check my attitude. Thank goodness the sun will be out again!

Dear Gulfport, Mississippi,

Thanks for being so beautiful today. I mean, I know God had a lot to do with that, but really, ya looked good today and I just had to tell ya. I was so happy to enjoy your clean roads, your fabulous gulf views, your cleaned up sandy beaches, your friendly folks waving at me everywhere I turn. It was nice. People were hanging out on their porches and chatting with neighbors while enjoying this great day! And you know how we've all needed that beauty and fun. Especially since you seem to have told the mosquitoes that it was time to come back. Hey- maybe you, Gulfport, Mississippi, can do something about those pests. They're back and they've started biting the heck outta me again. If you'll just take care of those bugs, I promise to keep trying to help you and your residents rebuild. That sounds fair. Okay? Let me know....

Thanks again for today!

Love,
Erin

Yup, there's still a lot of work to do.

It's been a while since I've posted Gulf Coast photos. Last week one of the homeowners that I am working with asked me to take some photos of her home while we worked on it. That got me driving around town, camera in hand. Here's what I saw that I thought you all might like to see- the progress, and the lack of progress. I've also posted many more photos to my Shutterfly Photo Album. All photos are from this past week!




















Downtown Gulfport:







Some from Biloxi:





And now for some photos of progress. On the left is a new condo building right on the beach, just down the road from Handsboro Pres. Below is my beloved Waffle House. This one is under construction on the beach (Hwy 90) on the Gulfport/Long Beach city line. Look at how much they have to elevate to build at that location!

Thanks for the prayers.

Lil' George is home. He survived three days in a lovely New Orleans hospital, complete with cable tv, WiFi and sweet tea. He's hurting a bit, but he's home safe, minus one appendix. Thanks for the prayers.

Say a little prayer for George....

Georgie's sick!

I'm writing this quick note from Ochsner Hospital in New Orleans where I'm visiting my roommate George to ask you to keep him in your prayers this weekend. He had an emergency appendectomy in the wee hours of this morning. He's still in quite a bit of pain, and will remain in the hospital for a few days, but he'll be okay.

Please join us all in praying for his speedy recovery!

And now for an honest opinion....

I'm tired. I ate at a new place today and I think it made me sick. Then I tried to keep working. I had a couple of rough home visits. They're people in a lot of need, but I am not totally sure we're going to be able to help them because they don't exactly fit into one of our categories of eligibility. I think. I'm not really sure though because none of that has ever really been outlined for me. I was frustrated. So, I needed a pick-me-up so I went to visit a couple of homes that we're working on. I was so excited to see some progress happening! The sun came out. Teams were working at homes I had visited two weeks ago. Rooms were getting completed. Drywall was being hung. Floors were being reinforced. It was good. It was really, really good. And I was a part of that. Then I went back to work and walked into yet another frustrating agency disorganized, miscommunicated mess. I got out of there because I couldn't do that again today. So I went home to try to work from there and to get some online time for work email. But our Internet at home wasn't working and I was feeling sicker, so I watched a little Gilmore Girls and went to bed instead. I woke up cranky for our family meeting and was a pretty rotten to my housemates.

So the point is, I think, that I love what I do, but I am struggling to love this agency/program/set-up. I think that this community living thing is supposed to be some way of bringing us closer to our true selves, to learn more from one another, to be honest and in doing so get closer to God's calling on all our lives.....I think. So maybe a freaking disaster zone isn't really the best place to foster that lifestyle. We're working together, living together, worshiping together, and we're doing all of that in the most disfunctional and least supportive environment in which I've ever lived (and that's saying quite a bit, if you've ever met my family or ever been to OWU). The agency I work for is ripping at the seems. I think every person who works there is miserable. Our program leadership seems completely unable to support/encourage/befriend us. Don't get me wrong, I know that I've been blessed with fantastic, loving roommates and an incredibly supportive home church and I am so grateful for them. And my family has been amazing this year. But for what? Because this is nuts. And I feel like every time I write home or call friends or post to this blog that I am whining and complaining. And I hate being that girl. I feel like I am the worst version of myself most of the time here. I know my frustrations are legitimate, but when do I reach the point where I admit that I've become the fool in this game? I mean, do I honestly expect to wake up one morning and see real change in this program or in our agency? I guess I do. And that's what makes me a fool. Or faithful. It's a fine line these days.

Three things I figured out today:

1. It is officially spring in Mississippi. I know this not because of the beautiful 72 degree weather, not because of the early morning birds chirping outside of my double-wide, but actually because of the fact that I can no longer pass by a pick-up truck on the road that doesn’t have a shirtless man driving it. Seriously, what is up with the shirtless pick-up drivers? And ladies, we ain’t talking Abercrombie models here. No, I mean, fried-shrimp-loving, Marlboro-Reds-smoking, gun-rack-having, honey-please-shave-my-back, Mississippi men.
(side note: I really am enjoying the weather, though)


2. Wednesdays are becoming a bit much for me. It’s my office day. It’s a chance for me to catch up on paperwork, phone calls and really just to be a presence in the office. But it is also when I get slammed with phone intakes, walk-in visitors and volunteer requests….so many that I don’t ever get to actually do the work I need to get done. I get frustrated with that and then the fact that I am frustrated frustrates me. But today I was distracted from my frustration by two men in need who just happened to walk in the doors of our building. Each at a different time, but both desperate. I think that we were able to provide some help for these men and that always makes me feel like there is a reason God called me to this place, to this church to work this year. I was meant to work with these men. I was meant to pray for these men. I was meant to hope for these men.

3. LOST is going to be freaking GOOD next week!

Birthday Round-Up

So my birthday was last week. 29. I'm still in denial.

We celebrated with dinner at the home of my favorite Episcopal priest's house. She was so sweet to invite me and my 5 roommates over for hamburgers and home made mac-and-cheese.

Then, this weekend we really celebrated by going camping. It was outdoors, out of town, away from FEMA trailers and building permits and everything, really. I layed on the dock and had girl talk with a housemate, watched my Houma pal make a fire, watched another housemate erect a tent with duct tape, stayed up way to late and drank way to much camp punch and had too good of a time with friends who really were too good to me. It was perfect.

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Wednesdays are long

It's the day that I've committed to being in the office- no home visits, no meetings, just office hours. It's great for homeowners who need to get a hold of me. But it makes for a long day. Today, I'd had enough and was bolting out the door just before 4pm (yes, early, I know. But I was due back at 5:30 for dinner, followed by Lenten lecture series #2, and then a prayer meeting). On my way out, I was tired, annoyed, frustrated and just done. As I was shoving the rest of my work into the car, a man approached me and asked for help. His name was James and he was from Little Rock, Arkansas. He was a carpenter by trade and had come to Gulfport to find construction work. He came with a friend who abandoned him and worked for a boss who never paid him. Weeks and weeks went by before he finally found himself homeless and penniless. He was at CVS today when one of the volunteers staying at our church spotted him and sat to talk with him. The volunteer told him to come by the church and see if we could help.

Unfortunately, this man's story isn't so rare. Many people have come here with good intentions of working, rebuilding, and making money and instead just get screwed over. Handsboro Pres can't house all of those people. We try to feed them, and talk with them, and we encourage them to return to their hometowns and their old support systems. The Gulf Coast is just too broken-these communities can hardly support themselves; they can't take on the nation's homeless, tired, and mistreated. So we pray with these unfortunate folks, we offer a meal, and we help them buy bus tickets. Today we managed to get a man home and to give him a bit of hope for the journey.

As I drove to the bus station with James, he told me that he'd go home and work to save some money to prepare better before coming back to help again. I'm not sure if he'll make it back to the Gulf, but I'll be praying that he does.

My Birthday Wish

So, today I am supposed to celebrate getting yet another year older. If I must mark the occassion, I'd like to do it by making some use out of the day. Not only is it my birthday but it is also the middle of a truly great occasion: Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week!

Most of you reading this (is anyone reading this?) know that I've been very involved with the National MS Society over the years- walking, running, working and volunteering to help them raise money to fight Multiple Sclerosis. My sister Jenny was diagnosed with MS almost 20 years ago and she's been fighting hard ever since! We've come a long way in the efforts to learn more about and try to find a cure for this crippling disease since that time. Much of the success in research and support for those living with MS is because of the great work the National MS Society has been doing.


I hope you'll join me in supporting the National MS Society this week. Here's how you can help:

1. Read and learn about Multiple Sclerosis and find a way to get involved in your community by visiting the National MS Society's website: www.nmss.org.

2. Support TEAM JENNY. We walked in the 2006 MS Challenge Walk in DC (3 Days, 50 Miles) and raised over $12,000 for the National MS Society. Now we're gearing up to do it again! This year, you can walk with us, volunteer with us, or become one of our favorite financial contributors. For more info or to register or make a donation go to the TEAM JENNY website.

3. Say a little prayer for Jenny and the thousands of others who are living with MS and fighting it every day! Don't forget to pray for the researchers working in those labs to find a cure.

Thanks!

(Above: My sister, Jenny, and her husband, Rob.

The other two photos are from the 2006 MS Challenge Walk)

You went where for dinner? Alabama?!?

Last night we went out to dinner in Mobile, AL for my roommate Sarah Ann's birthday. I forgot the camera, so there is no photographic evidence of the hilarity that ensued, but rest assure- it was a good one. We went to a great restaurant on the waterfront called Felix's. Wonderful food, fun atmosphere, fantastic view and charming service. The best crab soup of my life! (And that is a big statement coming from this Marylander) But then they ran out of grits. But it was okay because they let my housemate substitute another cup of crab soup. We liked it so much that the server told us that we could buy a gallon of soup....for $92! No thanks. Back to the mean. They served us a special birthday dessert for my roomie. But then they ran out of fudge for dessert. We substituted hot moon pie and ice cream. And then they ran out of tea. And then the server dropped the moon pie and we all just started howling. It was a dinner comedy of errors...and quite possibly the best time I've had in weeks.

I guess that got me to thinking about what this whole experience has been like: one big, beautiful mess. Nothing looks like it should. So we ran out of grits (constructive conversational forums)? And tonight there's no more tea (or patience or grace)? But we're still loving each other and enjoying the process (and God's work), right?

Today that was hard to remember. I love my work, but I don't love the work drama it brings along most days. Managing a disaster recovery operation is just plain hard. Coordinating volunteers, fundraising, managing donated money, public relations, crisis counseling, making all the right people feel happy all the time, working with multiple agency interests, navigating government regulations, partnering with people who are still living that year-and-a-half-old trauma as if it were yesterday, trying to provide stability and consistency through frequent staff turnover and burn-out.....really it is a miracle anything ever gets done down here. Maybe I shouldn't cry so much over spilled grits? Maybe I should remember that a messy meal may still be a great feast!

All in a week's work

My week- the short version:

Church.
Laundry.
Church.
Oscar Party.
Visit homeowners. Try to find them help.
Go to meetings. Try to make sense of funding application process.
Go to the office. Try to make sense of agency miscommunication.
Go home. Try to understand why ants are attacking the dishwasher.
Go to bible study. Try to understand God's word and how we interpret it.
Try to go to sleep, instead, spend fun time chit-chatting with housemates.
Visit homeowners. Try to find them help.
Obtain funding applications. Try to write grant requests.
Pick up housemate from the airport, glad he's back.
Back to office. Try not to get frustrated with doing-good-but-getting-in-the-way volunteer.
Go to dinner and Lenten lecture series at little church. Try not to cry when I realize how full little church is that night.
Go to prayer meeting. Try to connect with the folks God's put in my life this week. Pray for my little church back in Maryland. Pray for homeowners. Pray for that doing-good-but-getting-in-the-way volunteer. Pray for patience.
Watch LOST with friends. Try to figure out what's going to happen next!
Visit with homeowners. Try to understand what they are feeling.
Receive yummie and fun package from my home church. Try to remember to write them a thank you note.
Try to go visit homeowners. Forced to turn around because the freaking President is in town and so we've got to shut down main access road on the Gulf Coast.
Try not to get angry at President.
Remember that President is only here looking and isn't actually doing anything to help.
Try not to get angry at President.
Angry at President.
Try not to drive off the road.
Visit homeowners. Remember why I'm here.
Hear the twister warning come over the radio. See no twister.
Talk to mom on the phone. Try to explain that I'm not a twister victim.
Read.
Sleep.
Go to office. Try not to quit job.
Go on a homevisit. Remember why God called me to this job. Remember that I love working with homeowners.
Go on another homevisit. Pray with homeowners. Laugh. Cry. Love.
Go back to office. Try not to let the man get me down. Man got me down. Run out of office. Try not to cry. Cry.
Check mail. People Magazine is in the mail. Jump for joy. Call sister to tell her that the magazine subscription she ordered me a year ago has finally arrived. Read magazine.
Go to Chuck E. Cheese with housemate's afterschool program. Try to understand why anyone would choose to work at Chuck E. Cheese. Eat Pizza. Try to understand how Chuck E. Chesse is allowed to call that pizza.
Home. Prank on housemates. Movie. Sleep.
Sleep in!
Read.
Eat Mac-and-Cheese and try to finish the crossword puzzle.
Visit friend in Louisiana. Enjoy good conversation and good food.
Blog.
Pray.
Bed.

It was a good week!

In case you were wondering

Those crafty folks over at the PCUSA came up with this nifty article and a couple of fancy slide shows that may tell you a little more about what's going on down here in Coastal Mississippi.
Check it out:
http://www.pcusa.org/pcnews/gulfrelief/006.htm

Another good day....could this be a pattern?

Today turned out to be a great one. I went to a meeting where I didn't get what I wanted, but I got some creative ideas on how to move forward with what I want.

I stopped by Orange Grove to check in on a friend who works there with PDA and she gave me snacks! I love snacks!

Then I had some frustrating office hours where I didn't get done all of what I wanted to get done, but I did get a good lead on some other work and was flexible enough to change my schedule which allowed me to go on some really wonderful home visits this afternoon. Whew.

It is rare here that I go to some one's home and they need one thing and I have just that one thing to offer them. Today was that day. I think I found someone who we can really, really help. And that makes the helper in me feel great.

After work I had a play date with the pastor's 5-year-old daughter. Being around those kids helps me gain a little perspective. And they're just about as fun and as cute as you can get. Then Rebecca offered me dinner and it was yum!

Now I am home in my clean, comfortable, quiet house where we have Internet access which makes me happy because it means I can finally catch up on last week's LOST episode.

Oh, did I mention that it was sunny and about 72 degrees here today?

Tidings of Comfort and Joy!

WE NOW HAVE INTERNET AT THE HOUSE!!!!!

One Great Sunday

Roommate is home, sun is shining, sermons hit the spot, music was strong, laundry is clean, new volunteers are happy, belly is full, friends sound happy, Girl Scout cookies have arrived, lil' smokies are cooking and the Oscars are coming!

Long week, fun night, good work.....

After what became a very long and stressful work week, I've had some much needed rest and release so far this weekend.

Last night I went out with the girls to unwind, listen to some live tunes and flirt with Mississippi boys. Wildly entertaining. Especially for me, as I was the DD and found a comfy bar stool up high from which to watch the evening's festivities and hear the band. Let me just tell you that I may never be able to top the story Lauren emailed to our pal Brenna last night:

From: PDA Houma Village 8 Assistant
To: Brenna
Subject: What you're missing in mississippi tonight
Sent: Saturday, February 24, 2007 12:33 AM
Rico is a contractor from michigan. Black-shirt works for him. Joe-jack is
his business partner. He's named after his fathers two favorite hunting dogs
and has never left the state of mississippi. Sweatervest is married, just
bought sue a drink, gave her five dollars and left the bar.

This morning, I woke up and went to visit some homeowners for whom I'm trying to find some money to rebuild their house. They were so sweet and caring and tired and confused and hopeful and scared. It reminded me why I am here.

Then I went to Waffle House with the girls. Can I just say- God bless Waffle House. They're the only thing rebuilding on the beach so far. Amongst miles of nothing but debris on Beach Blvd, those two little Waffle Houses give me hope. They're back! And they brought those tasty hash browns with them. Like I said, God bless Waffle House!

I am so lucky to get to work with homeowners like the H's. I am so lucky to get to live and play with roommates and friends that I have found down here. I am so lucky to get to witness hope and rebirth on the Gulf Coast.

I've been trying....

I've been trying to work more to get ready for all the volunteer teams coming to the Gulf Coast in March, but I am tired.

I've been trying to enjoy my women's bible study, but Beth Moore is making me want to throw my bible out the window.

I've been trying to have faith in the GCM process, but every drama-filled moment makes me want to run for the hills.

I've been trying to decide what I want to do after this, but I can't even imagine an after this. Maybe I should make more time to think on that.

I've been trying to post a funny blog about all my Mardi Gras experiences, but I can't get access to the Internet. Wait, I'm online now.....

I've been trying to write letters home to all of the supportive folks at DMPC, but whenever I find a free moment, my bum lands on the couch for some much needed rest.

I've been trying to get to the gym, but...well, see above.

I've been trying to remember to call good friends in far off places, but the time change keeps messing me up.

I've been trying to blame the time change for me not being a better friend, but I know that's not the real excuse.

I've been trying to believe that God has a plan here and that all of the frustration and all of the celebration is part of that plan, but I keep getting distracted by thoughts of expectation. Why would she plan for it to go down like this?

I've been trying to stay focused on my little part in this process/agency/house/program and to do that well, but I strive for the success of the entire process/agency/house/program and that makes it hard for me to keep out of every one else's business.

I've been trying, but I think I need to try harder. I'll sleep faster. I'll be sweeter. I'll pray more. I'll freaking show up at the freaking gym. Or at least I'll go for a walk. It's beautiful outside today. I'll delight in that. I'll forgive myself and I'll forgive others and I'll wake up and try harder all over again. I think that's all we can do. I think maybe that's all God asks us to do. Try, forgive, try again.

HAPPY MARDI GRAS!

New Life

The past 72 hours have been a terrific whirl-wind of Gulf Coast spirit!
On Thursday I had several great home visits with people trying to rebuild that I think I can actually help! I went to speak with one man on Thursday morning, and by Friday morning we'd gotten him 15 sheets of drywall, one bag of insulation, and restored quite a bit of his hope and faith. His neighbor and my roommate helped deliver that joy, which renewed my faith in the possibilities of communities working together down here.

On Friday, the whole Gulf Coast Mission gang gathered in Gulfport for fellowship and fun. We missed my roommate Brenna dearly, but really enjoyed having some time to just talk and play together. Friday night was my roommate George's 21st Birthday Party, held at our house with a Mardi Gras Ball theme. George, and the whole crew, really seemed to have a great time. I loved finally having a home, a real home, with which to share with good friends.

Saturday was a day of great conversation and celebration. I had some good chats with some good friends here and then whooped it up at my first New Orleans Mardi Gras Parade. I returned home last night with a ridiculous bag of loot and an appreciation of what this holiday can do for a city that really needs the fun to return to their lives.

As I write to you now, I am sitting in the parking lot of Orange Grove Presbyterian Church. I came to worship here today because I needed an earlier service, so that I'd have time to make it to two more parades this afternoon. I know, I am out of control with the parades. But Orange Grove just happened to be a great place to be this morning. Orange Grove is a tiny church on the north side of Gulfport with a membership of 7 people. They petitioned to close their doors before Katrina hit, but the Presbytery kept them on. This past summer, linked with Handsboro, they called Pastor Scott and began their own rebuild. Today, they announced a name change for their congregation- to New Life Presbyterian Church. They are meeting now, as I write, to plan for how they can begin this new life as a congregation in this rebuilding community.

This week has demonstrated to me what a gift it is to be present to bear witness to all of the rebirth on the Gulf Coast. I have to remind myself to look at it that way sometimes. The view has been good this week.

My Valentine's Day Timeline- for your viewing pleasure.

6:45am Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
6:55am Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
7:05am Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
7:15am Alarm goes off. Turn alarm off. Wait five more minutes in bed.
7:16am Notice that roommate is dressed up for Valentine’s Day. Tell her she looks cute.
7:20am Roommate leaves for work. Get out of bed. Stumble into living room. Join housemates in watching Good Morning America. Notice that this NEVER happened when we were living in the church. Huh. Very thankful for new apartment.
7:25am Check weather. Going to be cold. Various roommates leave for work.
7:30am Jump in shower. Get dressed. Head out to the church. Notice that I need to get gas today.
7:55am Arrive at work. Greet various volunteers and staff. Think about grabbing a snack. Remember that I need to get paperwork ready for this morning’s home visit. And directions. Need directions.
8:05am Try to get on the Internet. Nope. Sort paperwork until Office Manager arrives. Then get on Internet, for directions and quickly send some emails...some Valentine’s Day emails.
8:30am Run out for home visit. Talk with homeowner about how we can help. This house is just down the street from one of our volunteer sites. It would be a great rainy-day job for them. Decide to drive by the church and drop off this case file immediately so homeowner can get help soon. Say a quick prayer for the homeowner in the driveway before taking off.
9:40am Arrive at the other church. Greet staff. Get excited because the Internet is working here. Finish paperwork on this morning’s home visit and get it to housemate who works at this church. Minor glitch with the printing, but housemate helps me out. Notice that housemate seems to be in a good mood, must be because of all that extra sleep last night. Talk with site manager about another homeowner. Send a few work emails. Quickly check www.people.com to make sure I haven’t missed anything crucial in the celebrity world overnight.
10:20am Off to Handsboro. I have office hours there all day today.
10:30am Check voicemails. Return calls. Prep cases for Long Term Recovery funding committee. More phone calls. More paperwork. Deal with major office crisis of this day. Call happy housemate to verbally process said crisis. Neither of us too happy at the moment. Eat. Receive call from housemate who saw some guy at a restaurant (a guy who asked housemate to dance that night, several times) and today saw the same guy on a Mississippi’s Most Wanted poster. Yikes. Laugh with housemate. Get mail- gift from my sister, and a check from another sister. I love them! Run to the bank to cash check (gas money!!!). Notice that everyone at the bank has a dozen roses. Comment to bank staff about how loved they all must be. Run back to work. More phone calls. Organizing files. More phone calls. Scheduling home visits for next week. Receive phone call from housemate who went home this week for family emergency. Chat with her. Miss her. Say a quick prayer for her. Get word of some agency willing to pay for skilled labor (electricians, plumbers, HVAC). Make a few calls to hunt down info. Get excited!
5:45pm WHAT? Where did the day go? Quickly set up files for the four home visits I have scheduled for tomorrow. Sister calls as I am running out the door. Niece and nephew are cute on the phone- but I really can’t tell what they are saying. Love them lots, though.
6:20pm Pick up roommate at church down the street. Urg, I still need gas. Hope we don’t run out. Pick up housemate at apartment. Drive to church #4 of today- the Baptist Church down the street where another housemate is cooking the Valentine’s Dinner for the congregation.
6:35pm Arrive at church. It’s so cute! Housemate is in his element in that big kitchen! Visit with church folks. Notice that me and my three housemates drop the average age in the room down about 40 years. Vote for King and Queen of the Valentine’s Dinner. Eat. Wow! Remember what a great chef housemate is. Eat serving number two. Take prom-style photo with housemates. Beg housemate to get the photo by email so I can have a copy. Wash a whole lot of dishes. Wash silverware twice because church member accidentally dumped the clean stuff back into the dirty water. Laugh to keep from crying. Wash more dishes. Housemate spills blue all over the kitchen and another housemate’s white shirt. Laugh with her to keep from crying. Some dad comes up to me and makes his 3-year-old apologize for eating my bag of candy hearts. Grab leftovers and get ready to leave. Spill purple all over the floor. Clean floor. Laugh with blue-covered housemate to keep from crying again. Remembered that it was just about an hour ago, during the coronation ceremony and yummy dinner when I said that it was the best Valentine’s Dinner ever. Chuckle.
8:30pm Go home. Grrr- still no gas. Amazed that we're still running. Discuss whether or not to rent a chick flick. Can’t decide. Remember LOST is on tonight.
8:35pm Talk with roommate about the roses she received and another card she received. Happy Valentine’s Day to her!
9:00pm SHARP! LOST. Housemates gather. LOST is good.
10:00pm GOOD LOST. Thankful that ABC is one of the three channels we receive.
10:10pm Phone call. Talk with housemate in NJ about how good LOST was tonight.
10:20pm Phone calls. Talk with GCM friends about Friday’s Mardi Gras Ball. Good plans made.
10:39pm Settle in with housemate for some OC on DVD since we never went to rent a chick flick. I only have three episodes left in season two. Watch them all. Oops. Didn’t mean to stay up this late. But the show was good and I needed to know!
1:00am Turn off lights, lock doors and hit the bed. It was a great Valentine’s Day!

My First Mardi Gras Parade....and My Second

This weekend I learned why the Gulf Coast loves their Mardi Gras parades!
They're fantastic!


Free beads. Free frisbees. Free cups. Free candy. Funny costumes. Silly hats. What's not to love?

Above: the Krewe of Who Dat float and at right: Linda, me and Tyler at the Orange Grove Mardi Gras Parade. For more photos, check out my photo page!

The Ups and Downs of This Girl's Week.

I'm still in my jammies. Love it!

My belly is full of twizzlers, ice cream and pancakes. Love it!

It's noon.

I am writing this morning from my new favorite place in Gulfport: Casa de Teel. We had a ladies only slumber party last night. My roommate Brenna received some really bad news about a family member yesterday (please keep her family in your prayers) and we needed a ladies night to keep up the spirits. We went out to dinner at a fantastic BBQ joint in Ocean Springs, MS called THE SHED. It's a dumpster-diver's dream, fully of junk, characters, and great food. Then we rented movies, bought snacks and ice cream and loaded on to the couch. We had a full scale production of Moulin Rouge while watching the Moulin Rouge at 1 in the morning! I woke up this morning to pancakes and coffee worked up by one great Teel! Can you tell that I loved it?

The past 24 hours has been characteristic of the past week for me- full of ups and downs.
The highlights:
UP- The best Super Bowl party I've ever attended, complete with projection TV, watching the game outside, sitting by a fire, surrounded by great friends and fantastic volunteers.
DOWN- Crazy volunteers trying to move into my bedroom before I even moved out.
UP- Enjoying our new house with family (my roomies) and friends.
DOWN- Finding places to store all my junk in my teeny new apartment. How did I collect so much stuff all over again? Urg.
UP- Meeting new families, and getting to work on their behalf in order to secure funding for a new home!
DOWN- Detailed paperwork creates roadblocks.
UP- Fellowship Dinner and Prayer meeting with Handsboro this week really made me feel close to God and my Mississippi church family.
DOWN- There were only 10 people there- the rest of the congregation missed out!
UP- Making a new house covenant with my roomies- setting us up for 6 great months.
DOWN- Missing the Houma Mardi Gras parade.
UP- Spending time with three fabulously fun ladies in a warm, welcoming home.

Today, I am off to my first Mardi Gras parade. We're taking the Castleman kids to check out one of the 5 parades running here today. Happy Carnival Season, everyone...

Love,
Erin