I started this blog to keep my church, friends and family updated on my year volunteering in Katrina recovery with the Presbyterian Church (USA). I've now signed on for a second year working in disaster recovery and another year living in Mississippi. It's getting good....

Friday, February 23, 2007

I've been trying....

I've been trying to work more to get ready for all the volunteer teams coming to the Gulf Coast in March, but I am tired.

I've been trying to enjoy my women's bible study, but Beth Moore is making me want to throw my bible out the window.

I've been trying to have faith in the GCM process, but every drama-filled moment makes me want to run for the hills.

I've been trying to decide what I want to do after this, but I can't even imagine an after this. Maybe I should make more time to think on that.

I've been trying to post a funny blog about all my Mardi Gras experiences, but I can't get access to the Internet. Wait, I'm online now.....

I've been trying to write letters home to all of the supportive folks at DMPC, but whenever I find a free moment, my bum lands on the couch for some much needed rest.

I've been trying to get to the gym, but...well, see above.

I've been trying to remember to call good friends in far off places, but the time change keeps messing me up.

I've been trying to blame the time change for me not being a better friend, but I know that's not the real excuse.

I've been trying to believe that God has a plan here and that all of the frustration and all of the celebration is part of that plan, but I keep getting distracted by thoughts of expectation. Why would she plan for it to go down like this?

I've been trying to stay focused on my little part in this process/agency/house/program and to do that well, but I strive for the success of the entire process/agency/house/program and that makes it hard for me to keep out of every one else's business.

I've been trying, but I think I need to try harder. I'll sleep faster. I'll be sweeter. I'll pray more. I'll freaking show up at the freaking gym. Or at least I'll go for a walk. It's beautiful outside today. I'll delight in that. I'll forgive myself and I'll forgive others and I'll wake up and try harder all over again. I think that's all we can do. I think maybe that's all God asks us to do. Try, forgive, try again.

2 comments:

Linda said...

erin, you're a good try-er. your trying makes a difference. and i'm so glad that you are willing to keep trying even when everything is hard to do.

kjh said...

word.