Yesterday it rained.
I'm not talking about an East Coast fall drizzle. It poured. Lightening, thunder, pounding rain, wind, tornadoes- full wrath and destruction.
My morning started at about 4am when the rain was coming into my bedroom and my roommate was screaming for help in closing the window. Fortunately, I am skilled at closing windows, so I was able to correct the problem even in my semi-slumber state.
The rain wrecked chaos on our day. Volunteers had to be moved into the church to finish sleeping. All of our roofing and siding plans had to be delayed. I had planned on going out on home visits, but the roads were flooded, so I was benched. Our Long Beach site was under a foot of water. The day felt blown at 7:30am.
I managed to get some paperwork done. I organized files and workflows. I tried to make the best of a frustrating day.
Then another storm hit. As has been well documented, I'm dealing with some frustration around communication and organization at work. My teammates and I had a meeting with management and there was a flurry of emotions, feelings, expectations, and needs raining down over all of us. A few guidelines were established, but overall I left the meeting just as confused as I had entered. That left another storm brewing in my brain.
How do I balance the needs of the community, each homeowner, my supervisors, my program, my roommates, my family, my home church and myself without drowning under the weight of it all? The simple answer is that I don't know. I have a tendency to over think everything to every possible detail. This has served me well in some situations, and completely crippled me in other situations. I am trying not to over-process this experience and just live it.
I am trying to have faith in the journey. I believe God called me to this community to help these homeowners and congregations. Katrina was a storm bigger than anything I can imagine. If they can live through that storm and walk on in faith, than I certainly can live through this drama and walk on in faith beside them.
Today I awoke to sunshine and beauty everywhere. A few puddles linger, but the coast seems to have dried out again. Hope anew. Faith restored. All that good stuff.
Another day to try again....