Today, on the 30th anniversary of that wonderful day when my mother introduced me to this beautiful world of beaches and sunsets and mountains and lakes and Cheetos and football and puppies and all foods fried, I've decided that turning 30 isn't the great tragedy I've been anticipating for the past 6 months. To celebrate that realization, I give you this, a list of thirty reasons why it doesn't suck to be in your thirties......
1. I've finally achieved maturity and self-confidence and am now fully prepared to rule the world.
2. I can afford to buy shoes that come from someplace other than the clearance rack at Payless.
3. I have friends who've known me for more than 20 years!
4. Reunions are fun!
5. My niece still thinks I am cool.
6. My dog thinks I am cool.
7. I know that I can come back from ANYTHING.
8. I don't get carded anymore! Gets me to the booze faster.
9. I no longer feel obligated to attend "young adult" church events.
10. I'll never be as old as my big sisters.
11. Less worrying about what everyone else thinks, wants, likes, says....
12. Another decade closer to retirement
13. I know what I want, where I am going and what I am doing....oh wait, no I don't. I have no idea what I am doing in five months. But at least now, I know that most of us never really figure that out- ya just keep going.
14. Thirty rhymes with dirty.
15. I made it through my twenties without getting arrested
16. I can tell wild stories about the good ole days of living in my first crappy apartment with confidence because I now live someplace much nicer/safer/cleaner.
17. I hear that forty is the new thirty, so by that logic, I just re-turned twenty!
18. I don't have to pre-party before going out anymore. This light-weight just needs one glass of wine at dinner...
19. ....which means I'm a cheap date!
20. I'm in a new age bracket for all election polling. My vote now messes up the conservative commentators a bit more than it used to!
21. My credit history is looking good.
22. Anti-aging face lotion always has sunscreen packed in there, so I never get sunburned anymore.
23. The more distance between me and high school, the cooler I was!
24. Complaining about back pain doesn't sound so ridiculous.
25. There's a whole different section of self-help books for women in their 30s!
26. I've survived 10 years without pantyhose- I think I'm in the clear for another 10, at least!
27. It happened. You don't have a choice. Deal with it.
28. The tastes of both SPAM and ramen noodles will remain forever locked in my 20s.
29. More time with friends and family
30. Maybe now people will STOP calling me Kiddo!