Adventures in Mississippi

Final Thoughts

2008-08-15T21:45:00.006-05:00

Jesus answered him, "What I am doing you do not know now, but afterward you will understand." (John 13: 7)

When I left Baltimore, Maryland for Gulfport, Mississippi nearly two years ago, I knew I was in for an adventure, but I had no idea what that really meant.

I thought I was going to go help some hurting people. I had no idea that hurting people could help me so much. And I had no idea that I could hurt people so much.

I thought I'd be able to make a difference and help repair some homes. I had no idea that I'd be welcomed into people's families just for showing up, regardless of whether I got anything done to help rebuild their "house".

I thought I'd do a little case management and make sure no one slipped through the cracks. I had no idea how big the cracks were, and that I'd allow some of my neighbors to slip.

I thought I was going to learn about faith, living in an intentional christian community with 5 strangers. I had no idea that my home church would teach me so much about faith and support and love from more than 1000 miles away.

I thought I might eat some fun things. I had no idea I'd become addicted to hot sauce and sweet tea.

I thought I might make some new friends. I had no idea I'd build a second family.

I thought I was going for 10 months. I had no idea I'd be there for almost 2 years.

I thought I'd gain some insight and direction into my future path. I had no idea I'd leave more lost/open to the mystery of what I'll be called to do next.

I thought I'd figure out how to re-open my heart after the loss of my sister, and the near loss of my faith that followed. I had no idea that I'd learn that my heart's journey is really a forever process, and how seemingly everyone else I meet is in it with me, in a way, recovering from their own loss of hope.

I thought I'd pick up some new skills. I had no idea that would include driving a forklift, drywall finishing, pulling electrical wire, mastering trailer septic maintenance, and creative ways to use a palate or two of expiring peanut butter.

In two years in Mississippi I have been more sure of God's presence among us, and more unsure of God's presence in my daily life, at any given moment. I have laughed more and cried more than ever before. I have seen the absolute best and worst of some church people, some homeless friends, and some perfect strangers, as well as of myself. And along the way, I hope I was able to help out a few neighbors in need, even if just a bit.

Just before I moved away, one of my peers (another who'd moved to the Coast post-Katrina to help out) sat and chatted with me for a few hours. He asked me what was the biggest lesson I'd learned during my time on the Coast. I said that my eyes had been re-opened to a colorful, messy world. I'm embarrassed to say that when I get stressed, I shut down my color-vision and choose to the see the world in black and white; right and wrong. To me, that means you are either a good person or a bad one. Agencies are either doing things right or they are wrong. People are either worthy of my friendship and love or they are not.

That is ridiculous. I know that. But I keep slipping back into it. My black and white structured world helps me cope with the confusion, loss, questions, doubt, unknown, that we face every day. The key being, if you live in a black and white world, you never have to forgive anyone: the people who've wronged you, a neighbor who didn't offer to help, a church member who lied, a politician who cheated, that dog who chewed your favorite sweater, agencies who didn't follow through on their promises, the government who stood by watching idly, a God who allowed a whole Coast of people to get wiped out, or even (gulp) yourself. When you live in a black and white world, like I do much of the time, you get to stay angry and righteous because people are just wrong! You never let go of that grudge against the bad folk/system/creator.

What I re-learned over these two years, is that we are all called to live in the mess that is the spectrum of gray. We are all hurting and angry and frustrated. None of us can live up to the standards we set for ourselves or for each other. Setting black and white standards of right and wrong in order to provide structure (and room for judgement) is not our job. Our job is to love. To love regardless of right or wrong, of merit or effort.

I am amazed at how many chances I've been given to love people over the past two years. There were plenty of times I came through on that call, and plenty of times when I failed. I live in the grey. We all do. And I think the beauty of the gray is that we're not alone there. God is with us, calling us to stay in the grey and to keep trying. And somehow, with God's grace and love the gray world is turned to color for me- full of His light, and His joy, and His peace, and His love.

I'm going to attempt to carry this perspective with me as I go on to new adventures in new places...adventures and places still very unknown to me. I'm also going to try to bring along some sweet tea.

To all of you who have loved me in the midst of all my gray over the past two years:
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I love you and all the color you bring to my life, always!

C-H-I-C-A-G-O

2008-08-09T22:34:00.003-05:00

Just a quick note to let you all know that I made it to Chicago. It was a long drive and I have yet to catch up on all the sleep I've missed in the past week or so, but I am here. Eddie and I are getting adjusted to city life- he barks and sniffs at everything (very unlike him) and I keep getting yelled at for calling people sir or ma'am. Guess some of the south really took hold, eh?

On the road again.

2008-08-05T23:48:00.002-05:00

It's my last night in Gulfport. I'm almost done packing/cleaning/working. Tomorrow I hit the road for the two-day trip to Chicago.

Today I... took a co-worker to a meeting to (hopefully) start a fall partnership between our two agencies, submitted my last two homeowner grant applications, closed ten cases, cleaned out two years worth of files/folders/scrap paper from my office, cleaned out my trailer fridge, wrote a letter to my home church, packed two packages that I've been meaning to mail for months, returned $65 worth of goods to Walmart, cleaned out the blackberry/email/work computer, enjoyed a final supper with coworkers and friends at one of my favorite Gulfport restaurants, documented everything I do at work and where I left everything that needs still to be done, organized Eddie's food and toys for the trip, and said a big prayer that all the stuff I've so carefully packed actually fits in the mini-van tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will... do a final clean of the trailer, turn in my blackberry/computer/keys, drop off a few files at the office, drive to New Orleans to pick up the car and my co-pilot and her dog and her stuff before returning to Gulfport to repack the minivan, mail a few items at the post office, and drive off to Oxford (Emma's house) for the night.

There is a sappy, reflective, crap-I've-spent-two-years-on-the-coast-and-that's-taught-me-this-about-God-Family-Community-and-the-meaning-of-life post coming...but it didn't fit on the to do list this week......

I will say, though, that I am all full of love for all of you who've been supporting and praying for me these past two years. Shoot me a little prayer for this transition if you will.

More adventures to come...

Pausing for a good laugh

2008-08-03T10:47:00.009-05:00

By now you know that I am now in the throws of packing, which has been a two week process thus far. I've somehow managed to cram two years of life on the Coast into a 240 SqFt trailer. Dislodging, disassembling, cleaning, reorganizing, and packing all of that so that it will fit with me, my friend Jessie (and her stuff), and two dogs in a rented mini-van, has been quite the chore and it is totally stressing me out.

Fortunately, some dear friends of mine had the foresight months and months ago to imagine my stress level during this process and they planted a little comic relief.

Let me back up....in the beginning of November 2007, I went out of town for a weekend to visit my friends in Northern Mississippi. My PDA buds back here in Gulfport took that opportunity to JIF my trailer. If you haven't been JIFFED, please refer to the photos below.

This week, 9 months after the JIFFING, I have rediscovered 2 cans carefully tucked away, buried with my oh-so-important belongings (that haven't been touched in at least those 9 months).

When I messaged Dan (on of the JIFFERS) about the new finds, he told me that JIF was the gift that keeps on giving. I'm not sure about that, but I do think that laughter is a pretty darn special gift....especially after all these months....especially now.

4 days to go...

2008-08-02T00:56:00.004-05:00

And so the countdown continues.

I've been pushing pretty hard this past week to try and get everything done before I leave- packing my trailer, packing my office, pushing cases through funding roundtables, visiting homeowners, tying up transition plans,saying goodbye to friends and work contacts, working on India trip plans, finalizing moving plans, searching for a cell phone, repairing my laptop, cat sitting, and trying not to burst into tears at any given moment. All of this was complicated by a few issues- I was unexpectedly left as the only staff member on the coast for a week- a week when 4 long term volunteers terminated their service with us and needed collection of their receipts/blackberries/keys/credit cards/etc, exit interviews, rides to the airport, etc...and in the middle of all that, my back also went out, so I have to spend several hours a day laying flat on the floor just to be able to function the rest of the day.

There is NO way I will get it all done. Not a chance.

But somehow, I've become okay with that. I had a good chat with one of the smartest women I've ever known, who also happens to be the friend who's known me the longest, and she helped to open my eyes to this: As much as I don't like to admit it, this work is bigger than me, this agency is bigger than me, this mission is bigger than me. If I don't get it done, someone else will pick it up. PDA actually had interviews for my position this week, so it looks like they will be hiring someone to come and take my place soon. Yes, it's possible, Erin, for someone else to do you job- probably better than you. You weren't the only one God called down here to help out. So get over yourself. Do what you can without busting your back/bursting into tears, say a little prayer, and let the rest go. I think I'll tattoo that on the inside of my arm, in case I forget.

The beginning of the end.

2008-07-27T13:37:00.004-05:00

I've got 10 days left living on the Coast.

Today was my last worship service at New Life Community Church. I bawled through the last couple of songs. I said goodbye to Roberta and Harold, two church members who've welcomed me into their home time and time again over the past two years. I made plans to have dinner with the Castlemans this week to say goodbye to their family. I'm going over to their place tomorrow, but I don't know how I'll be able to leave.

Last week I bid farewell to my co-worker Wilf, who's tearful hug set me off crying instantly. I also had a goodbye lunch with two amazing women, SallyLodge and Grace, and because I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye to them, I invited myself over to their house next week for one more visit.

I've spent months and months saying goodbye to others who've left the Coast: one-week volunteers, long-term volunteers, roommates and friends. But me leaving here always seemed so far off. Saying goodbye to these friends, these permanent fixtures, these rocks of support and faith and love, is so hard.

And its just beginning.

Gone Fishin'

2008-07-26T11:40:00.004-05:00

(BEWARE- Horrible puns ahead! Proceed with caution.)

Let me start by explaining that I am no fisherwoman. Not at all. Fishing has never interested me. I love being on the water, being on boats, and drinking beer in the daytime, but the finishing part has just never appealed to me. I'm not good at being quiet or patient. I'm not careful enough to be trusted with sharp hooks.

The only memory I have of fishing during my growing up years was when my dad took us out off of Chincoteague Island. As I remember it, on that trip, after however many hours of us not catching anything, we returned to the marina where dad purchased some fish and threw them at me in the parking lot so I could tell mom that we caught the fish.

So yesterday, when I hit the bayou with Kevin and Virginia, I decided to just go enjoy the company and try not to get too sunburned.

Then I started fishing.

Um, okay, so those of you who know me at all know that I can be quite competitive, especially with myself. I caught a little perch my first cast out. We had to throw it back, but I'd caught it. I was pretty excited! Then I caught a bigger one. We kept it. Then another. Then a googly-eyed something. Then a few more big perch. Then a catfish. Insert wild on-boat dancing here. Then two more catfish. I almost caught a gator at one point! I don't know if Kevin is a fish whisperer or what, but he'd found the spot. We were catching all kinds of stuff. On nearly every cast. No boring. No quiet. It was active and exciting and just a whole lot of fun. I was hooked (I told you to beware!).

Virginia and I were catching them so fast (and refusing to take them off our own hooks) that Kevin had us open the cooler and he spent most of his time tossing our fish in from the other side of the boat. My spot on the boat was next to the cooler of caught fish.

That's where my perfect day (did I mention that it was a bit overcast for most of the morning so I didn't fry my skin?) went a bit off. I could hear the fish flapping around in the cooler, desperate for their watery homes. It was horrible. So now not only was I ripping apart live worms with my bare hands and jabbing them through with the hook over and over again, but I was also torturing these poor fish for hours as they struggled for life. Um, nice, Erin. Kevin promised me that we'd eat them all, so it wouldn't be a waste, and I decided that was enough to keep me from dumping the cooler over the boat. Also, I might catch something bigger, better. Must keep fishing.

We went on to Kevin's neighbor's fish camp. A true bayou gem. I mean it. So many antlers on the wall, a stuffed bobcat over the door, and a toilet that you flush with a bucket of bayou water. I know my photos won't do that place justice. But it was welcome shade from the noon-day sun and a chance to wash my wormy hands. Virginia and I took quick naps on the dock and then we all caught a few more fish and a couple of blue crabs and we headed for home. If I measured the day on the goals I'd set out earlier, to just to enjoy the company of my two good friends and to avoid getting sunburned, I'd completed a very successful day!

That night, we feasted on a dinner of fried fish, boiled crabs, and french fries. It all tasted so great. We talked about the killing of the worms, the catching of the fish, the slow fish death, and the eating of the meal. I told them what I always say when issues of morality and meat/fish-eating come up- science tells me that my teeth were made to eat meat. Also, I find meat tasty. I put those two together and I've always been okay with it.

But I've never had to catch/kill my own meat before.

While we were on the boat, Virginia asked if this was the kind of dominion we were supposed to have over all the animals and beasts and fish and creeping things? I'm not sure. I'm also not sure my old answer to the meat eating question is going to continue to work for me.

Got a lil' more fishin' to do....

2008-07-23T15:21:00.001-05:00

Praying for folks in Dolly's path.

Seriously, FEMA?

2008-07-22T00:57:00.002-05:00

Okay, if you have a minute, read this article (AP, via WLOX) about FEMA's new disaster housing "plan". Here's my favorite part of the story:

"There is a 60-day comment period for the draft strategy, which is important because FEMA did not consult with many interested parties - including the National Emergency Management Association, the organization which represents state emergency managers, during the past two years when it was working on the strategy."

The WORST part about the disaster "industry" is that we stink at working together. I know that there are some more veteran professionals in the field who would tell me that things are so much better now than they were in 1967, but, come on?! Organizations will say they have learned from 9-11 and Katrina, and are now committed to building relationships, partnerships and coalitions, but I am looking at the Iowa flooding response and seeing a lot of the same mistakes being made. In an effort to respond quickly, everyone acts without talking things through. No planning, visioning, systems, partnerships. Half of one agency is acting and the other half doesn't have a clue what's going on. And if you don't like the answer one agency gave you, start your own agency and do whatever you want. Accountability, schmaccountability. It's irresponsible and I can't stand it. Especially when promoted my our government...aren't they the ones who should be getting folks to work (or at least talk) together?

Sometimes a list says it better....

2008-07-18T23:47:00.004-05:00

This was my week, in numbers:

0... passports received back in the mail from the US government. I'm no good at waiting.

0... lost trailer keys found.

0... times I retired from professional football (and cried while announcing said retirement) and then tried to get back in the game, setting up major drama in the city that's supported,loved and worshiped me for all my adult life.

1... new blackberry received in the mail, replacing the old one I'd drowned over the weekend.

1... Episcopalian priest surprised on the pulpit when I popped up to worship with him and his new congregation 160 miles north of here. It was so good to see him again.

1... congressional staffer attending a community long term recovery meeting (actually, the only one I've ever seen at one of these meetings) who was informed, engaged and getting involved. Quite refreshing.

1... exit interview with my boss from Louisville. I really, really only have three weeks left on the Coast!

2... suitcases packed for the move to come in three weeks. In case you haven't heard, when I finish up here on August 6th, I am moving to Chicago to live with my friend Lauren. Eddie and I are looking forward to city life for a bit.

2... computers I nearly killed. One was spared, the other, still undecided. Need to get it back to the Geek Squad tomorrow.

2... grant applications I am trying to push through on behalf of homeowners before I bust out of here in three weeks.

3... restful, entertaining, rejuvenating days spent with Em up in Jackson. We ate breakfast in bed, hung by the pool, discussed everything from possible VP candidates to the new Pope's influence on American Catholicism to whether or not the Bachlorette picked the right guy on that ABC reality show (side note: we're both fine with anyone from Breckenridge!), snuck into the MS State Capitol after hours, watched the Black Rodeo Parade march through downtown, played a killer one-on-one game of Trivial Pursuit (I'd never mention who won and who lost, though, eh, eh) were mistaken for Southwest Airlines flight attendants, drank some good wine and ate some wonderful meals, and generally confused several security guards and hotel staffers.

3... amazing women who accompanied me to opening day of Mama Mia the movie! It was awesome. If you haven't seen this movie, grab your girlfriends and get to the cinema pronto. "here I go again..."

3... agencies with whom we had successful meetings to line up the transition of some cases to make sure folks aren't dropped when myself and another case manager leave next month.

4... Daily Show episodes enjoyed online in one fabulous sitting. He's so much better without the commercials.

6... vaccinations injected into my arms via four shots. I'm getting prepped for travel season. For those who don't know, I am going to India in August to visit my pal Kerry. I am now somewhat protected from Hep A, Hep B, Tetanus, Diphtheria, Typhoid, and Polio. There is no shot, however, to protect me from Kerry's corny jokes.

9... times I thought about putting together a resume but stopped before firing up the laptop, not because the laptop is broken, but because I still don't have an address or phone number to list on the resume. Um, need to get on that.

764... times I lost my temper and lashed out at some poor unsuspecting soul. Stressed about moving, E?

9768... (approximate) new freckles gained while out walking Eddie the wonder dog. Puppy walks are good for de-stressing the Erin!!

And back to
1... times I counted the the days I have left on the Coast- NINETEEN!!!

fried

2008-07-14T14:06:00.005-05:00

This weekend my Blackberry took a dip in some water and is now fried. This totally cripples me professionally and personally as it is my main contact to the world outside my trailer. Then, last night, my personal computer melted down on me as well. I may have lost every document, file, photo, and song I have. For good.

I'm bummin' right now....

UPDATE:
Around 3:30 this afternoon, my work computer alerted me to a virus it had acquired. When I went to fix it, the anti-virus software bubble told me that the software had expired and I needed to renew it online. While attempting to renew the software, the Internet connection at the office went down.

I am not making this stuff up.

Can some one please look.....do I actually have a black cloud over my head?

Sheesh!

2008-07-10T23:03:00.001-05:00

Peace it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. -Unknown

Why did no one bring this quote to my attention BEFORE I started in the chaotic mess that is disaster recovery?

The (not so) Great In-Trailer Retreat

2008-07-06T22:33:00.004-05:00

I've been a little stressed lately with the return from a long vacation, catching up on emails/voicemails, preparing for my transition at work, apartment hunting in Chicago, preparing to pack out of Mississippi, attending weddings, planning fall travel trips, searching for my birth certificate, dealing with insurance issues, trying to schedule doctor/dentist appointments before losing my medical benefits, job hunting, saying goodbye to my friends, etc., etc. I don't say this to complain, because many of these stressors are very exciting, positive happenings, but they do, however, all require a lot of planning and preparation, which does stress me out. In order to chill a bit, I decided to take this weekend to myself and enjoy a retreat in my trailer.

It was perfect timing. It's been super hot here lately and the trailer has some high powered a/c. We're very low on volunteers, so all weekend working isn't necessary. It's a holiday weekend so most folks are busy with family/friends and won't notice my absence. Oh, and it was Wimbledon Championship weekend and Swimming and Track Olympic Trials time.

The problem with spending a retreat weekend in your trailer, I found, is that too much time in the trailer makes you lose sight of the outside world. When that happens, it just bumms me out.

Here's what I mean:
Example #1: Four cans of soda in one day is never necessary. I'm not sure my teeth will forgive me.

Example #2: I forget that I doesn't take 4 Gilmore Girls episodes to dry one load of laundry, so when I arrive back at the laundry room, someone else has already taken my semi-dry, wrinkly stuff out of the machine (and I'm sure I've pissed them off). Curses!

Example #3: Three 1/3 read books does not equal one completely read book no matter how you try to relate them. That means there is still a stack of semi-read books next to my bed, judging me, taunting me, and generally telling me I'm an idiot. Now my books are mocking me and, oh crap, I'm in the grocery store, buying more soda, talking to myself out loud about how I can get the books to leave me alone.

Example #4: I took a daily break of the trailer to take Eddie for a walk and totally forgot that it is 4th of July weekend. Big family picnics and street fireworks are not good places for hungry, friendly, but scared-of-loud-noises dogs.

Example #5: Three days of critically over-analyzing your life can be very bad for your mental health. If you are an over-analyzer who's also prone to emotional eating, this bodes poorly not only for the elastic on your mesh shorts (official trailer retreat wear) but also for the ice cream and cheeto stashes in the main dining tent.*

Example #6: Normal people don't watch Old School twice in a row. I'm just sayin'.

Example #7: I left Eddie in the trailer for about 25 seconds unattended. He jumped on my bed and found the secret stash of chocolate chips by my alarm clock. (Hey, you wake up to coffee, I say goodnight with chocolate...I don't judge you!) When I came back in the trailer, he jumped off the bed and left the slobbery bag of chocolate chips on the floor. While picking them up, I thought twice about picking out the not-slobbery ones before throwing the bag away. I was going to eat already-chewed-by-a-cute-but-filthy-dog chocolate chips!

Example #8: I'm pretty sure that none of my 'real world' friends received work emails on a Sunday afternoon with a subject line that reads, "fire ant bites" requiring immediate response. This thought gets me spinning on what I now consider to be the 'real world'.

While these examples are listed here in hopes of making you laugh, they were also moments of my weekend that made me a bit sad. Being down on the coast for nearly two years has left me out of touch with the rest of the world. As I prepare for re-entry, I'm a bit stressed about that transition. I have no shortage of books and friends and wild travel plans to help me through this transition, but that doesn't mean I won't stress about it. However, the next time I get all stressed and think a weekend alone will make me feel better, someone please remind me that there's a whole world of things to do outside my metal trailer walls...

*I will note that at my lowest point in the self-inflicted retreat saddness, I made a call to an older, wiser confidant (who for reasons about to be revealed shall remain nameless) who listened to me whine and then told me that she had, this very weekend, taken a quick break from wimbeldon/olympic trials watching and walked to her local grocery store to buy not one, not two, not three, but four Dove bars. No word on how many she actually polished off today, because I would never ask, but yes, it did make me feel better to know I wasn't alone!

Omaha Update!

2008-07-04T20:00:00.002-05:00

While I sat on my trailer couch eating cheetos for the second night in a row, Dara Torres spanked a bunch of teens and twenty-somethings and WON the US Olympic Trials 100 Free.

I'm making the Go Dara t-shirts now. Let me know if you want one.

The thing about Omaha is...

2008-07-03T21:28:00.004-05:00

....my friend and future roommate, Lauren, is dating a guy from Omaha. That means, obviously, that over the past several months I have spent quite a bit of time making fun of Omaha. Did you know they have a zoo?

Then the American swimming world set up camp there for the US Olympic Trials this week and I'm thinking there must be something about that town!

So far (5 days in), US Swimmers have set 6 World Records, 12 American Records, 14 US Open Records, and 33 Trials Meet Records.

And with all of that, tomorrow night is when the big drama starts:
Dara Torres, a 41-year-old mother, is competing in the finals heat of the 100 freestyle. In a sport dominated by teenagers, this woman, this veteran of 4 olympic teams, will be standing on the blocks next to 6 swimmers who weren't even born when she competed in her first olympics (1984).

INSANE! And, yeah, pretty stinking awesome, too!

I think I need to get my now 30-year-old behind up to Nebraska get in on some of that Omaha magic! Oh and yes, I'm done making fun of Omaha, Plank...at least for the rest of the trials.

While I was on vacation...

2008-07-01T15:26:00.006-05:00

I arrived back in Gulfport today. I had been on the Grand Erin Vacation Tour of 2008. There were no groupies, but there were some pretty fine buses. Here's what happened over the past 12 days (photos to come)....

... I saw Stevie Wonder perform live at the Taste of Chicago.

... I totally fell in love with Park City, Utah.

... I taught countless little munchkins how to fly by their ears on our family vacation.

... my oldest, dearest, most amazingly talented friend married the sweetest man I've ever met, on the most beautiful day New England had to offer in the most fantastic setting possible. I cried. Lots. It was so perfect.

... I dipped my tootsies in the Provo River, the Atlantic Ocean, and Lake Michigan.

... Lauren and I found an apartment in Chicago! It's amazing- perfect size, heat included, located in the heart of Hyde Park, just 3 blocks from Lake Michigan and the express bus downtown stops out our front door. Now, if I can just get Eddie's weight down so we can be accepted as legal residents under their pet policy...

... my brother-in-law and I hiked a mountain, starting at 10,000+ feet, and were greeted at the top by not one, but two herds of mountain goats.

... I sailed on the Charles River and saw the lights of Fenway from the boat!

... while roasting marshmallows around a campfire, my nephew introduced me to the phrase, "Ponce Pon a time...." which is how I will now be starting ALL stories.

... I toured a Smart (Green) House, a Fairy Mansion and a U-Boat at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago.

... I got to see my college roommate in the house she now owns- all on her own!

... I rode the world's fastest zip line (50 mph) while visiting the Utah Olympic Park!

... I was transported about on 7 planes, 10 trains, 7 buses, 1 cab, and 1 fifteen-passenger van with an overheating problem.

... I enjoyed ZERO slurpees!?!?! AH! What happened? In each of the three states I visited I'd planned to hit up a 7-11 (we don't have 'em here in Mississippi) for my favorite slushy treat, but some how it never happened. What was I thinking?

... I started planning two big, international trips for this fall! I can't wait to have some time off when I am done on the coast to let loose and travel again!

In local news this week (also known as why I love mississippi...)

2008-06-10T10:04:00.002-05:00

News got out in the past week or so about FEMA's new policy on ice distribution post-disaster. FEMA will now only distribute ice for medical or life saving purposes, and not to the general public (you know, folks who have no water/electricity and are trying to survive and clean-up in the 90-100 degree heat+ humidity of the deep, deep south). Folks down here have, rightly, gone a bit mad about this. MEMA (Mississippi Emergency Mgmt Agency) has come out saying that they will figure out a way to distribute ice for their residents since FEMA won't, which I applaud, but I really, prefer the way one local congressman has chosen to deal with this serious issue:

Taylor: FEMA officials a 'bunch of buttheads'
By J.R. WELSH
SUN HERALD

An official reaction to FEMA's no-ice policy came from U.S. Rep. Gene Taylor who referred to FEMA officials as a "bunch of buttheads."

Last week, officials were told that FEMA had decided to only supply ice for use in medical emergencies and life-saving reasons. It's left local officials scrambling to figure out ways to make it available for the general public.

During a meeting with Hancock County Board of Supervisors this morning Taylor said he intends to write to FEMA to register his objections to the new policy. He also urged Hancock County supervisors, as well as the city councils of Waveland and Bay St. Louis, to send similar letters of objection.

"I'm going to write a letter and tell them what a bunch of buttheads they are," said Taylor.

---You can read more about this by clicking here.

And the cheese stands alone...

2008-06-05T21:48:00.016-05:00

My friend Kerry left the coast this week. I am thrilled for him because he has a wonderful adventure planned for the summer that will take him all the way to an orphanage in India. And I'm not freaking out too much because when I move to Chicago this fall, he will also be living there and we'll get to see each other all the time. But I am terribly sad about this because Kerry has been a great friend and support for me down here. The two of us have been through the ringer and back again and after all of that, no one down here quite gets me/tolerates me/challenges me the way he does.

Also, it's tough because this makes me the last of the GCM PDA/MS Pres gang left. When I signed a one-year contract with PDA last summer, I knew this day would come. I just didn't know how hard it would be. Brenna and Linda made up a good large chunk of year one in Mississippi and when they left last summer, I melted a bit, but I had Lauren and Becca, Mical and Kerry to hold me together. Becca left in November, but Mical, Lauren and Kerry promised me I'd be fine. Lauren left, and Dan and Kerry shaved funny moustaches and built me a deck to keep my spirits up. Dan and Mical left and Kerry let me turn him into a wonderful girlfriend for gossip and chick flicks (um, I did also manage to take him to a NBA playoff game, so it wasn't all braiding each other's hair all the time). Kerry left this week.

In this business of ministry (?), I am learning that relationships are everything. These folks are the people who hold my hand when we have a bad day and dance and sing with joy when we have a good one, and who totally understand when both those days happen within a span of 15 minutes.

They are the freaks who pray with me at Chilis and dissect a sermon while waiting in line at IHOP. They are the ones who listen to me scream when I am frustrated with the system. They are the warm souls who give me that knowing glance when one of us has put in a 15 hour day just to have some pastor rip you out because we ran out of eggs. They are the wise ones who know

not to push me when I say I just can't be around new people today. They are the sensitive ones who know how to push me when I'm putting up one of those lame excuses. They know me in and out and over again. They are as much my family as if my mom had birthed each one of them (although I think she's glad she didn't).

And they are moving on.

We all are. I am moving in two months. But right now, I am still here and they are not. New people have come to take over their jobs. New people with new skills, new talents, new gifts. Wonderful, sweet, hard-working, smart, funny, new people.
But I don't want to get to know the new people. I want my family back. I want them back now. And I don't want things to change anymore.

Tomorrow we're taking a PDA staff trip to Ship Island for some quality beach bonding time. It's going to be super fun and I will have lots of time to get to know all of our new summer staff. I'm sure I'll love it. But for tonight, I just want to whine.
I miss my peeps.....

While you wait...check out these cuties!

2008-06-01T23:55:00.009-05:00

Okay, I am feeling better and working on a post to update y'all on my trip home, current PDA happenings and my future (gulp) plans. While that's stewing, I was flipping through some photos.

My camera broke a couple of weeks ago, so I have been sharing and borrowing from others. Last weekend, I used my sister Rainey's camera. She's one of those people who takes tons of photos and leaves them all on the memory card forever, which worked out great for me because when I uploaded the photos I took over the weekend, I also got about 6 months worth of pictures of my neice Quinlan and nephews William and Henry. Check out how cute they are:

.... and here is one pic from my trip. Quinlan did my hair and was very proud of herself!

Catching up...

2008-06-01T22:11:00.003-05:00

Okay....where to start?

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND AT HOME:
I had an amazing weekend at home. Flew in to Baltimore and had some quality sister time with Rainey. Saturday was spent in DC with six of my nieces & nephews, two sisters, one brother-in-law and one mom. We sat on the Mall and went to a free kids concert put on my XM radio (remember when everyone listened to satellite radio for like a year and it was going to change the world- ha!) featuring, wait for it, Lisa Loeb and Meredith Brooks. Okay, what? Kids concert with those chicks? Lisa Loeb was the funky 90s indie-girl all my alternative-dork friends loved who then totally sold out and put out a pop album and VH1 reality show a couple of years ago. Kids album is a new layer of her sell-out-ness, and really she's such a bore on stage that it doesn't matter what style music she's playing, it just wasn't entertaining to watch. So the other one, though, Meredith Brooks, she had one pretty big hit, also in the 90s, called, "I'm a _itch." Except she didn't edit the title, or the song. But she was a great kid entertainer, so our group of munchkins was pretty happy. The whole fam bummed around the monuments and I got to sit with my 7 year old niece and together we read the two great Lincoln speeches inside Abe's big white house, which was one of the cooler things I've ever gotten to do with her.

That night, I met up with a handful of my best friends from college for some good food, a lively political debate, and a few too many margaritas. Being in the city really made me excited for my next adventure and some serious city time. (Have I mentioned the plan to move to the city at the end of the summer?) Oh, and I just love DC so much. The metro, the activity, the diversity, the monuments, all of it. Love it.

The next morning, I went back up to Bawlmer for church. It was so great to be back at DMPC for worship. I just always feel so comfortable there, even when my nephew is puking all over the pews and I'm cleaning that with tissues. I guess that's the thing about church family- even at your grossest, you are comfortable there. AND, my pal/pastor Liz lent me a dress to wear to my friend's wedding that night!

After church I headed downtown to check into the hotel and rejoin my college pals in prepping for the wedding. We did a little wandering around the Inner Harbor and ate outside at the Hard Rock on the water. I have no idea how I manage to go months/years at a time without seeing these folks, because ugh, when I am with them I realize how much I need to be with them more.

The wedding of my friends Carrie and Jay was just beautiful, casual and lovely. Fun times were had by all, especially by those who participated in the throwing of the artichokes. Wow.

On Memorial Day I went to an Orioles/Yankees game and enjoyed some perfect baseball weather. My sister Rainey got sick that night and I thought it was odd. Little did I know that the sick would shortly be coming my way....

BACK TO GULFPORT, kinda:
I flew home on Tuesday night to New Orleans. I stayed at our Olive Tree Village and the next day spent some time with my friend Kerry and his dad, who was in town visiting. That night, I caught the Stafford Uck. It was the sickest I've ever been and I would not wish that one ANYONE! Especially if that anyone is staying in a motor home with no water or A/C in the deep, deep south in the summer. Sick like that is no fun in a porta-potty. And with that, I think I've said enough.

I finally managed to make it back to Gulfport on Friday, which was just in time for the PDA weekend outing to the roller rink. A crew of us slapped on some skates and did our best hokey pokey!

I realized that I only have about two months left down here.....my how it flies.....

ugh

2008-05-30T22:59:00.002-05:00

recovering from the worst sick ever.....much to share about my weekend home, Carrie and Jay's wedding, cute new shoes, LOST, more scary christian books, fun summer travel plans, and more.....but my tummy's still rumbling...

Poplarville, my Poplarville...

2008-05-20T22:57:00.002-05:00

This Sunday, I decided to surprise my friend Sally-Lodge by showing up at her church for worship totally unannounced. Sally-Lodge is the pastor of a small church in Poplarville, MS. It's about an hour north-west of Gulfport, which basically puts the town in the beginning of the middle of nowhere Mississippi.

It was a total adventure for little miss suburbs over here.

First, I googled the church name. Of course they have no website. Then I went to the PC(USA) website to do a search on the church. It came up when I searched by town name and gave me an address. I google-mapped that address and set off on the road. I figured that a southern, country church service couldn't start before 10 am, so I thought I'd just drive out of town and bring some books and then I'd be ready to sit and wait a while.

It was a beautiful drive. Cow farm after cow farm. The weather in south Mississippi has been incredible this May- still with no heat, no bugs, no humidity. Most days this month, I've been concerned that the apocalypse is upon us, because weather like this just doesn't happen here in May. But on this Sunday, I loved it. When old people talk about going for a Sunday drive, I think this is the weather they have in mind. That was the drive they have in mind.

So, I wasn't paying much attention to the specifics of the directions and therefore wasn't worried when I rolled up on to a golf course. Then, I looked and discovered that I'd hit the last turn on the directions. The address for the church on the PC(USA) website was some one's home on a golf course. I wasn't near anything resembling a town or a church or Sally-Lodge. I was so bummed.

I got back on the road and stumbled upon a mom and pop gas station. They'd never heard of the particular church that I was seeking, but could list off a number of places where a nice girl like me could worship this fine Sunday.

Completely disappointed that my fun surprise was spoiled, I went on my way. I decided to take a different route home so that I would at least enjoy a new drive. Then I realized that I was going to drive right by downtown Poplarville. The church was supposed to be in Poplarville. I could try one more time. It was only 10:30 and there was still a chance that the service didn't start until 11.

I drove into town thinking, how many churches can there be in a tiny, start of the middle of nowhere Mississippi town?

Right.

It's the deep south. There are nine million churches for every 127 people. I saw a big one, and old one, a brick one, a stick one, a blue one, a red one, a green one, a cream one. Dr. Seuss would've loved this town. But no Presbyterian one. So, I gave up all over again and started winding my way out of the "downtown" area when I saw one of those little "Presbyterian Church this way" signs. I turned and drove one block and found the phantom Sally-Lodge church!!!!

I was so thrilled! Not only at my master bird-dogging skills or because the service DID start at 11, so I still had 15 minutes to spare, but because I was finally (FINALLY) after almost two years, going to be at Sally-Lodge's church.

It was awesome. There's nothing like seeing someone you love and respect do one of the things they do best. Watching her interact with her congregation was such a joy/learning experience. And the small group was so welcoming to me- this stranger from a foreign land.

AND! They had free food. One of my favorite things in the whole world is stumbling upon free food. There was a scheduled church picnic after the service. Church picnics have to be one of my favorite things about living in the deep south. Picnics, hot sauce, and sweet tea. And adventures in Poplarville. I'll add that to the list, now.

Take Two

2008-05-17T23:44:00.003-05:00

I started trying to write a post about my week, but it just got long and lame and then way off subject. I decided to try again using just a list. So, in my favorite format, I present to you, my week:

A week of UPs!

-Cheered, danced, and celebrated with Kerry and a bunch of wild New Orleanians at the Hornets/Spurs playoff game 5. (Trombone-freakin'-Shorty was there! It was awesome!)

-Due to unexpected incident(s), had the pleasure of spending extra time at Olive Tree Village, which meant more fun with Kerry and the kittens.

-Enjoyed dinner with volunteers and village staff in Houma, LA.

-Visited all four of our active Volunteer Villages within 24 hours!

-Breakfast for Lunch with Virginia.

-Shared dinner with friends at a casino buffet. My FIRST since arriving on the coast! Why have I not done this before??? 3 hours of good conversation and tasty snow crab legs.

(Wonder why all my UPs involve food?)

A week of DOWNs!

-Learned that the Red Cross will be out of money for Katrina victims as of June 1. So many people still need help rebuilding!

-Extra time at Olive Tree Village wasn't all fun. Tough work and tough conversations. Extra bug bites from the motor home's bad screens/no AC problem.

-Communication struggles GALORE had me pulling out my hair.

-Realized that because I am always going to be a peace-maker (never a peace-keeper) I that means that I will often come across as a warring witch. Awesome.

-Endured an unsuccessful attempt at shopping for a dress to wear to my friend's wedding next weekend.

Seriously?

2008-05-12T22:03:00.004-05:00

Okay, when I first saw this advertised on TV last week I thought it was completely ridiculous and wanted to post a link on my blog so all three people who still read this thing could laugh at the sad, sad state of TV reporting in New Orleans.

Wheel of Justice (click here)
You + Wheel + Dirtbags = Justice

Then, I watched some of the updates. This thing is actually assisting in catching criminals and making the post-Katrina streets of New Orleans safer every day.

Un-real.

So, BRAVO to you, WGNO!
And tsk, tsk to you, Counihan (even though you're still giggling a little)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

2008-05-11T12:31:00.004-05:00

I've been incredibly blessed with smart, strong, talented, loving, and fun female role models my whole life- my sisters, friends, aunts, co-workers, teachers, roommates and neighbors. In a way, all of these women have mothered me and so I find today a great day to honor all of those incredible mother-influences in our lives. Sometimes we're good daughters and we say and do sweet things to honor our moms. A lot of the time, we're rotten whiners that just don't want to hear the lessons they have to share with us. And more than for any other reason (of which there are many, many), I admire my mom, the real one, the one who actually gave me life, so much for loving and supporting me when I am the brat as much as she does when I am a sweetheart. I suppose only a mother knows how to do that. But she does it. All the time. So you know, so its cool that she is brilliant and brave and faithful and adventurous and independent and warm and thoughtful and clever and strong and a good dancer and a good cookie-picker-out and whatever, but I am completely and always amazed at her capacity to love- to actively, aggressively and wonderfully love and love and love. I am so thankful to be a blessed recipient of all that love, all the time.
Cheers to you, ma!

Transitions

2008-05-02T00:01:00.003-05:00

This spring has been drenched in transitions down in PDAland. We've got staff and long-term volunteers turning over like leaves. This is the time of year when some folks come down to work with us for just two months or so. After all this time on the coast, and all this time working in this crazy industry, I still have a hard time with change and transitions. I have a hard time convincing myself to invest in someone who is only going to be here for a couple of weeks. I know that they need support and friendship and information and kindness, but please-it's only 8 weeks. Can't I just hand them a manual and a glass of sweet tea and get back to my work? Well, yes, Erin you can, if you want to be a brat about it.

My friend Brenna came to visit this past weekend. I had the great fortune of attending a meeting in Princeton about three weeks ago, so we had already done the whole catch up with what you're doing and what your summer plans might be thing. So this weekend, we got to transition back into just being friends again. Not visiting old friends. But friends who know each other and can sit and talk about anything or nothing. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed that. It was so great. I coulda drank it up. Like sweet tea, actually.

Some of you know, but many of you don't, that I have my own transition coming up pretty soon. I've decided on an end date for my service on the coast. I WILL BE LEAVING at the beginning of August. I have no idea what I will do next or where I will go, but I know that I've given all I have to this place and now I am a bit spent. It's going to be torture to leave, but I want to go before I make staying into torture as well. I'm so glad that I've been able to make this decision (with much careful thought, prayer, and conversation) early so that I have time to process this next transition before I bolt outta here.

Or so she says....

Nice.

2008-04-20T19:54:00.002-05:00

Eddie and I have been enjoying some amazing weather this weekend!
We've learned that laying around in the sun and the breeze is a great way to procrastinate.

I am so lucky...

2008-04-13T00:10:00.005-05:00

....to have such amazing people in my life.

Tonight was incredible. I'm in Princeton, NJ for a meeting of the PDA National Response Team. I've been fortunate enough to meet some incredibly involved Presbyterians who have a passion for helping people in need. I have so much to learn from them.

We had a break for dinner, tonight, though, so I joined my pal Brenna for a night out. She's in seminary here and it has been quite convenient that my conference put me in her back yard. We spent the afternoon touring New Hope, PA- shopping, laughing, drinking and eating. At dinner we discussed everything from the human understanding of a tangible/physical heaven to issues surrounding christian sexuality while also wandering around in conversation to make sure we had time to spend gossiping about the time lines of our friends' love lives.

Then I ended up bumping into a Gulf Coast mission trip/Facebook friend in the Princeton Seminary housing facility and we spent the wee hours of the night pouring wine over plastic cups of ice while exploring ideas for local church missions, training opportunities for political community involvement, and the educational and sociological benefits of photography and art.

I'm not sure what forces of heaven and life put me in this place at this time, but gee, it seems to fit.

Spring

2008-04-10T23:02:00.002-05:00

I am very aware that there is a designated starting date for spring marked on all of our calendars on March 21st. However, to me that day is my friend Emily's birthday, not some grand change of season. Spring in my life has always been marked by signals you don't find on the calendar.

Back home in the MD, I knew it was Spring when the cherry blossoms arrived all over town and when everyone got to grumbling about how bad the Orioles were going to be- again.

In college I knew it was Spring when everyone and their mom took to studying outside on the Bashford lawn. I mean, "studying".

In Colorado I knew it was Spring when the slopes were full of glove-shells-only skiers. No liners, no coats, no face masks, no helmets.

Last year, I knew it was Spring in Mississippi when all the dudes in town started driving their pick-up trucks (seemingly suddenly, but all on the same day) SHIRTLESS!

This year, I discovered that Spring had arrived when I was stirred by Eddie the dog chasing the first cockroach of the season in my trailer.

It's always something. Hurray for SPRING!

Make way for the REBIRTH!

2008-04-09T21:35:00.005-05:00

Folks who know Jazz/Brass (or who have spent any time at any festival in the greater new orleans area) know that the headline of this post comes from one of the great Rebirth Brass Band songs (featuring my fav: Kermit Ruffins). That song gets everyone I know up and shaking every time. Tonight, my heart was up and shaking, but there was no brass band to be found. My heart was shaking with joy for the rebirth of St. Peter's by the Sea.

After Katrina, St. Peter's By The Sea Episcopal Church looked like this:

Now, it looks like this:

I've worshiped with the congregation of St. Peter's for more than a year and a half. They are a strong and inspirational bunch of survivors. After the storm took most of their church building and many of their homes, they came back to rebuild. Tonight, I had the great pleasure of joining them to celebrate the consecration of their newly rebuilt church. The Bishop lead the nearly 2 hour service and every pew in the house, plus folding chairs, was full! I can't believe how fortunate I was to witness such joy, such relief. The rebirth!

As they say at St. Pete's:
God is great. ALL THE TIME.

No people, no cars, and I mean it.

2008-04-06T21:45:00.005-05:00

How does it fly by? The weeks continue passing and I hardly seem able to keep up. It amazes me how busy we stay down here (which is a great thing!) and how after my 19 months on the coast, my workload doesn't diminish at all. Every week brings a scramble to find jobs, materials, funds, volunteers, permits, etc. EVERY WEEK! Why we can't seem to find a system to keep from scrambling, I will never understand. I love systems and trust me, if there were one that would make sense of this work I'd be all over it. But no one has been able to find said successful system yet, so the scramble continues.

All that is to say that the by the time the weekend arrives I am desperate for some down time. Down time for me used to be skiing, camping, hiking and general merriment with a big ole gang of friends. Now, clearly there's no skiing or hiking here, and since I basically camp every night, that's been out too. But the shocker is that hanging with friends no longer constitutes down time for me. I'm totally fried on people lately. The blackberry on my hip and it's constant buzzing seems to have some effect on my desire to socialize. Daily, I go from meeting to meeting where I listen to a near constant barrage of information and updates coming from a handful of mono-tone voices. Then via phone, email, or personal encounter that intrudes into my Erin face space, I listen to questions and comments from long term volunteers. Sprinkled throughout the day, at the office, at the grocery store or driving down the highway, I listen to homeowners sharing their problems and frustrations. Then, while eating dinner, walking the dog, or stepping in or out of the porta-potty, I listen to complaints from our one-week volunteers.

I am committed to my job and our mission down here, but I come Saturday afternoon, my ears are spent. So now, my weekend downtime usually involves me and some serious time with my trailer couch and some season of Gilmore Girls on DVD. Is this what's best for my mind, my body or my social life- um, well, no. For my sanity- yes. It seems to be working now.

If only I can come up with some ideas for how not to get so sick of driving....

Now that it's over....

2008-03-31T20:16:00.002-05:00

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love March in Mississippi:

10. March Madness is fun everywhere.
9. College Students on Spring Break litter communities and volunteer camps across the coast, meaning lots of work getting done!
8. No Bugs.
7. Only one more month until JazzFest.
6. This year- Daylight Savings means sunshine after work.
5. This year- EASTER!
4. Umbrellas, families, and fun re-populate the beaches.
3. No Bugs.
2. Sunny 70 degree days aplenty.
1. No Bugs!

Math = Fan-freaking-tastic!

2008-03-27T23:22:00.006-05:00

The equation of my today went something like this:

Early morning volunteer chat

Late for early morning meeting

Organized Manual Project completed

Beautiful Mississippi March sunny day

No bugs

Long ride to Houma with friends

One difficult phone conversation

Yummy lunch cooked by Kevin

Staff meeting

Tears over friends (long-term volunteers) who are leaving the Coast this weekend

Riding Hwy 90 all the way back to NoLa

ANOTHER FLAT TIRE!!!

Fun surprise time with Kerry

(Ferry ride+Stumbling upon a movie set in New Orleans+Touring fun, funky neighborhood+Yummy dinner in the French Quarter)

Quick phone chat with Lauren

Fetch time with Eddie while catching some late-night March Madness on the tube

Happy Erin

Happy Easter Y'all!

2008-03-23T08:35:00.002-05:00

Celestial spirit that doth roll
The heart's sepulchral stone away,
Be this our resurrection day,
The singing Easter of the soul -
O gentle Master of the Wise,
Teach us to say: "I will arise."

~Richard Le Gallienne

Scenes from Easter morning at New Life Community Church/Orange Grove Volunteer Village:

Holy Saturday

2008-03-22T22:54:00.010-05:00

With volunteer numbers low for Easter weekend, a handful of us PDAers took the day off and went to enjoy the sunshine in New Orleans today. We started off with a fantastic breakfast at The Camilla Grill. Then we hit up Audubon Zoo, where I pet an elephant, fed a giraffe and marveled at a swamp monster. The day ended with a ride on the street car down St. Charles Ave.

I'll let you decide, from the photos below, which one is the real swamp monster.

Good Friday

2008-03-21T22:52:00.008-05:00

Last night, I went to New Life Community Church for Maundy Thursday worship. Scott had worked up a great service (although without a bulletin, which was really hard for this structured, fuddy-duddy Presbie to handle) and it was a special night. Readings and stories were shared, candles were lit and extinguished, there was a hand washing bit (because we use our hands the way the disciples used their feet), and even a couple of songs before communion. Scott concluded the emotional service by reading from SM Lockbridge's famous sermon, "It's Friday, but Sunday's Coming!"

Usually, I am not cool with this kind of talk- I tend to find it pretty cheesy. It hit me last night, though and I found myself crying throughout the whole service. If you're not familiar with the sermon, here's a bit to read:

It's Friday. Jesus is arrested in the garden where He was praying. But Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. The disciples are hiding and Peter's denying that he knows the Lord. But Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. Jesus is standing before the high priest of Israel, silent as a lamb before the slaughter. But Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. Jesus is beaten, mocked, and spit upon. But Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. Those Roman soldiers are flogging our Lord with a leather scourge that has bits of bones and glass and metal, tearing at his flesh. But Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. The Son of man stands firm as they press the crown of thorns down into his brow. But Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. See Him walking to Calvary, the blood dripping from His body. See the cross crashing down on His back as He stumbles beneath the load. It's Friday; but Sunday's a coming.
It's Friday. See those Roman soldiers driving the nails into the feet and hands of my Lord. Hear my Jesus cry, "Father, forgive them." It's Friday; but Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. Jesus is hanging on the cross, bloody and dying. But Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. The sky grows dark, the earth begins to tremble, and He who knew no sin became sin for us. Holy God who will not abide with sin pours out His wrath on that perfect sacrificial lamb who cries out, "My God, My God. Why hast thou forsaken me?" What a horrible cry. But Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. And at the moment of Jesus' death, the veil of the Temple that separates sinful man from Holy God was torn from the top to the bottom because Sunday's coming.
It's Friday. Jesus is hanging on the cross, heaven is weeping and hell is partying. But that's because it's Friday, and they don't know it, but Sunday's a coming.
And on that horrible day 2000 years ago, Jesus the Christ, the Lord of glory, the only begotten Son of God, the only perfect man died on the cross of Calvary. Satan thought that he had won the victory. Surely he had destroyed the Son of God. Finally he had disproved the prophecy God had uttered in the Garden and the one who was to crush his head had been destroyed. But that was Friday.
Now it's Sunday. And just about dawn on that first day of the week, there was a great earthquake. But that wasn't the only thing that was shaking because now it's Sunday. And the angel of the Lord is coming down out of heaven and rolling the stone away from the door of the tomb. Yes, it's Sunday, and the angel of the Lord is sitting on that stone and the guards posted at the tomb to keep the body from disappearing were shaking in their boots because it's Sunday, and the lamb that was silent before the slaughter is now the resurrected lion from the tribe of Judah, for He is not here, the angel says. He is risen indeed.
It's Sunday, and the crucified and resurrected Christ has defeated death, hell, sin and the grave. It's Sunday. And now everything has changed. It's the age of grace, God's grace poured out on all who would look to that crucified lamb of Calvary. Grace freely given to all who would believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross of Calvary was buried and rose again. All because it's Sunday.
It's Friday! But Sunday's a Coming!

So here's what had me crying- I feel overwhelmed by all the Friday in the world most days. Down here on the Coast especially- with the challenges of rebuilding, working with hurting people in a chronic state of need, sifting through church politics and grant funding, waiting and depending on volunteer labor, and the list goes on and on. Then I look up from my Gulf Coast Recovery bubble and see Friday everywhere else as well- with this darn war, with the election, within my own relationships, with my crappy dog-training skills, with that ruling-pharmaceutical-and-insurance-company-style heath care our nation promotes, with our failing public school systems, with the violence we see the world over, with all that I see with my eyes and all that I find within my own heart. I don't feel the weekend coming. I know it isn't fair to compare my inability to property train my dog with the issue of world peace or the crucifixion of Christ. But we're talking failure, brokenness, and hurt aren't we? Big and small, it's still failure, brokenness and hurt.

I don't mean to say that it's all Friday and sorrow and sadness all the time. I do occasionally catch glimpses of Sunday- when a homeowner called a couple of weeks ago to tell me that she spent the first night in her newly rebuilt home, when four sisters from four states gathered to laugh and love on one another for a weekend, when volunteers from all over the nation come to help neighbors they've never met, when I read the wedding announcement that arrived in the mail for a dear friend and her long time partner, when I say sit and Eddie's little bum hits the ground, and when I hear word of a new baby on the way, and on and on. But we never seem to relish in those lovely Sunday moments quite the way we wallow in the Friday times. And I've been doing a lot of wallowing lately. I suppose we've got to hurt through the Fridays in order to appreciate the Sundays. But, maybe I need to re-read my own Sunday list, and start focusing on those Sunday bits- no matter how few and far between they come.

Ah, vacation.

2008-03-16T19:04:00.004-05:00

I'm writing tonight from a King-sized hotel bed in Nashville, while watching NCAA Tourney bracket coverage on giant flat-screen high-def TV. It's pretty great.

I spent the weekend in Nashville with my sisters relishing in a break from my current reality. We hadn't spent time together as just the girls in years- no kids, no husbands, no parents, no jobs, no obligations, no commitments, no worries. We ate too much, drank too much, laughed too much, slept too little, and certainly watched too much basketball. It was awesome.

Last night, after spending all day at a bar watching the ACC tourney (I was after-all with 2 Clemson grads and 1 Carolina grad) we hit up the Grand Ole Opry. We'd bought tickets because Carrie Underwood and Little Big Town were playing, but were treated with surprise performances by Vince Gill and Randy Travis!!! Not only that, but Randy Travis joined Carrie Underwood on stage and invited her to join the Opry. Quite the exciting night!

Back when I booked my plane ticket, I made the genius decision to stay in Nashville an extra night. The other girls flew home this afternoon, but I don't take off until early tomorrow morning. That means one night alone in a nice airport hotel, with a big ole shower with an unlimited supply of hot water, free HBO, free WiFi, table full of snacks, reliable indoor climate control, fancy sheets, and no responsibility for another 12 hours.

Nice!

Hitting the Hive

2008-03-12T23:52:00.003-05:00

Kerry and I went to the New Orleans Hornets game tonight. It was so nice to get out of the Village, out of Gulfport, and out of the whole Disaster Recovery business for a few hours. We had a blast at the game and, shocker, I even took a few photos. Click here to see the pics!

March Madness!

2008-03-10T17:18:00.003-05:00

Ha, ha, ha, ha........ READ THIS!
Talk about creative advertising...

Bowling

2008-03-09T19:27:00.003-05:00

So my awesome friends and co-workers here in Mississippi took me out for Birthday Bowling last night. Anyone who's ever bowled with me knows that I'm psychotically competitive with this silly sport. I can't control myself around those pins. After a few particularly bad games in high school I was banned from the lanes for 2 years. Lately, I do okay most of the time, and I'm even kinda good after two beers (as I am with most sports where drinking beer is involved), but there's one major problem with me and bowling.... the harder I try, the more I focus, the more I want it, the more I push....the worse I am.

I'm starting to notice that's not just a bowling thing....

I've got issues.

2008-03-07T09:37:00.003-06:00

Of course it didn't make the national news, but Hillary was in Mississippi yesterday and (YES!) finally addressed the Gulf Coast Rebuilding issues.....

READ ABOUT IT HERE.

I know she didn't say much, or really provide any kind of a plan of what she'd do to help, but at least she recognized rebuilding the Gulf Coast as an issue.

WHY AREN'T THE CANDIDATES TALKING MORE ABOUT THIS? Has everyone forgotten?

On Obama's website there's a page for "Issues", where he lists 20 issues on which he's taken a stand and plans to take action. Then there's the 21st "issue" which is "Other Issues", buried down there is a brief statement on Katrina:

Katrina
As president, Barack Obama will keep the broken promises made by President Bush to rebuild New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. And he will take steps to ensure that the federal government will never again allow such catastrophic failures in emergency planning and response to occur.

Barack Obama swiftly responded to Hurricane Katrina. Citing the Bush administration’s “unconscionable ineptitude” in responding to Hurricane Katrina, Obama introduced legislation requiring disaster planners to take into account the specific needs of low-income hurricane victims. Obama visited thousands of Hurricane survivors in the Houston Convention Center and later took three more trips to the region. He worked with members of the Congressional Black Caucus to introduce legislation to address the immediate income, employment, business and housing needs of Gulf Coast communities.

As president, Barack Obama will partner with the people of the Gulf Coast to rebuild now, stronger than ever.

Then you can click on a link to read his whole plan. I read it. It's not so much a plan as a bulleted list of warm fuzzy promises. And no where does it mention Mississippi. The whole "plan" is about New Orleans. Awesome.

So then I went to Hillary's website. She has 14 issues listed on her "ISSUES" page. Nope, Katrina recovery isn't one of them. And she doesn't have an "other issues" tab at all. So, nowhere on her web page does she mention Gulf Coast recovery at all. Hum.

In an effort to be fair, I went to John McCain's website as well. He only has 12 issues. No Katrina talk anywhere.

I know it isn't a war, or a mortgage crisis, but the Gulf Coast is still a mess. Can we at least talk about that????

Thirty

2008-03-06T22:04:00.006-06:00

Today, on the 30th anniversary of that wonderful day when my mother introduced me to this beautiful world of beaches and sunsets and mountains and lakes and Cheetos and football and puppies and all foods fried, I've decided that turning 30 isn't the great tragedy I've been anticipating for the past 6 months. To celebrate that realization, I give you this, a list of thirty reasons why it doesn't suck to be in your thirties......

1. I've finally achieved maturity and self-confidence and am now fully prepared to rule the world.
2. I can afford to buy shoes that come from someplace other than the clearance rack at Payless.
3. I have friends who've known me for more than 20 years!
4. Reunions are fun!
5. My niece still thinks I am cool.
6. My dog thinks I am cool.
7. I know that I can come back from ANYTHING.
8. I don't get carded anymore! Gets me to the booze faster.
9. I no longer feel obligated to attend "young adult" church events.
10. I'll never be as old as my big sisters.
11. Less worrying about what everyone else thinks, wants, likes, says....
12. Another decade closer to retirement
13. I know what I want, where I am going and what I am doing....oh wait, no I don't. I have no idea what I am doing in five months. But at least now, I know that most of us never really figure that out- ya just keep going.
14. Thirty rhymes with dirty.
15. I made it through my twenties without getting arrested
16. I can tell wild stories about the good ole days of living in my first crappy apartment with confidence because I now live someplace much nicer/safer/cleaner.
17. I hear that forty is the new thirty, so by that logic, I just re-turned twenty!
18. I don't have to pre-party before going out anymore. This light-weight just needs one glass of wine at dinner...
19. ....which means I'm a cheap date!
20. I'm in a new age bracket for all election polling. My vote now messes up the conservative commentators a bit more than it used to!
21. My credit history is looking good.
22. Anti-aging face lotion always has sunscreen packed in there, so I never get sunburned anymore.
23. The more distance between me and high school, the cooler I was!
24. Complaining about back pain doesn't sound so ridiculous.
25. There's a whole different section of self-help books for women in their 30s!
26. I've survived 10 years without pantyhose- I think I'm in the clear for another 10, at least!
27. It happened. You don't have a choice. Deal with it.
28. The tastes of both SPAM and ramen noodles will remain forever locked in my 20s.
29. More time with friends and family
30. Maybe now people will STOP calling me Kiddo!

A little light

2008-03-05T12:06:00.003-06:00

Mom is here!

My mom and her church are on the Coast for a work week at the PDA Village in Pearlington, MS. It's been so great to have a taste of home around here, but at the same time, I am so tired. I can't seem to keep up. Mom came over last night and spent the night with me in the trailer but I was too tired to come up with something fun, wild and creative to do, so we just watched election returns and then went to bed early. Eddie didn't seem to mind that we stayed home, though. Driving back and forth to Pearlington every day (sometimes twice a day) is wearing on me a bit....but each time I am with the GPC crew, there's new energy and new hope in the work we're doing. Maybe I need to just stop my whining and enjoy these folks that I love so much. Oh, I just feel so blessed to have them here.

AND-- I am just 9 days away from my big sisters weekend in Nashville!
Yee-haw!

Just another day with PDA ...

2008-03-01T23:38:00.008-06:00

Click here to see more AWESOME photos from the weekend the fellas moved the Gautier Village office to the Orange Grove Village (about 30 miles west).

A little perspective.

2008-02-24T23:09:00.004-06:00

Tonight as Judi, Virginia and I were watching the Oscars, actually, it was as we were watching the red carpet coverage of the Oscar arrivals, we were doing what everyone does---ripping to shreds all the women who wore too-tight satin dresses, or poorly suited colors, or horrible-curtain-looking concoctions.

Then, Virginia smartly noticed that we were three poorly-dressed-in-PDA-blue-t-shirts-women, sitting in a travel trailer in Mississippi, eating Klondike bars, evaluating, critiquing and judging these movie stars and their terribly moronic fashion choices.

And I can't remember the last time I washed my hair....

Just call me Bagel Live Oak...

2008-02-18T16:33:00.004-06:00

Okay, I needed a good laugh today and this one got me! Feel free to leave a comment with your own new name!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car): Pepper Cavalier
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (fave ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Cookies n' Cream Sneaker
3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favorite color, favorite animal): Green Dog
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, city where you were born): Eileen DeeCee
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first three letters of your last name, first two of your first name): Couer
6. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Orange Sweet Tea
7. NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers): Joe Maxton
8. STRIPPER NAME ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Soap Fudge (that one is NOT okay)
9. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your fifth grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): I really can't remember my fifth grade teacher's name. Not one bit. Yikes.
10. SPY NAME (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Autumn Black-eyed Susan
11. CARTOON NAME (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Apple Sweatshirt
12. HIPPIE NAME (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Bagel Live Oak

Thank you.

2008-02-18T16:18:00.000-06:00

Read this.

And Happy Valentine's Day to you too, FEMA.

2008-02-14T09:50:00.003-06:00

http://www.sunherald.com/news/breaking_news/story/369804.html

Disgusting.

One of my favorite days of the year!

2008-02-13T20:32:00.006-06:00

I love the night before Valentine's Day. I love it!

Tonight I was really tired, but my fridge was empty. Around 7:30pm I gave in and went to the grocery store to replace the moldy grapes I'd found in my fridge this morning (why do I always let fruit go bad??). I'd forgotten what day it was.

Then I parked my car.

Men everywhere, buying the last few cards, half-dead flowers, horribly ugly balloons (and really, what woman over the age of 9 wants balloons?), and already discounted boxes of candy. It was awesome.

I love the last-minute-oh-crap-I-totally-forgot-it-was-Valentine's-Day-and-now-what-the-heck-can-I-get-my-wife/girlfriend/partner-for-cheap-but-so-she-doesn't-think-I-forgot trip to the grocery store. There were no less than 5 nervous men in the greeting card isle at any one time while I was in the store.

Just when I had written all these fools off and considered getting some popcorn and a camp chair to sit in front of the store to enjoy the quality people-watching, I was approached by a man in a suit in the dairy section. He was holding his son's hand asked me if I could explain the difference between butter and margarine. We chatted for a bit and he explained that he and his son were trying to bake his wife some cookies from scratch for Valentine's Day but that he had no idea what he was doing. I gave him a few tips and walked away chuckling and smiling.

Seriously, my favorite day of the year....and I almost missed it.

Freakin' state of Maryland and their broke down voting records system.

2008-02-11T19:59:00.000-06:00

They lost my voter registration.

Freakin' Maryland!

A few weeks ago I sent away for my absentee ballot. It never showed. I called today, they have no record of me ever voting or registering to vote in Maryland. Seriously?? I can't tell you how many elections I've voted in over the years in the Old Line State. Yet, I don't exist in their system. Since 1996, minus a three year break when I voted in Colorado, I've been punching the democratic ballot in every primary and general election. But not this year! And it's too late to register to vote in the Mississippi primary. The very helpful election worker answering the phone at the Frederick County Elections Office informed me that my only option would be to go in and vote provisionally at the elementary school....in Frederick, MD. Right.

I was livid.

I called my mom- she'd be outraged and stage a protest for sure. Not home.
I called my sister Rainey. She was outraged. She told me that my good friend Liz was also denied by the voting Nazis in the city of Baltimore. Liz changed her registration from Independent to Democrat in September, but they didn't process it until December, which is too late, so now she can't vote in the party primary. I was mad for Liz, too, now.
Then Rainey shared with me Liz's projected vote and I realized that if we'd both had the opportunity to participate in our nation's great democratic process, Liz's vote would have canceled out my vote.

I guess it'll be okay then.

But I'm still fuming mad. In my trailer in Mississippi...looking for something to do to stick it to the man!

Suggestions???

Hoping and hoping....and hoping some more.

2008-02-10T22:10:00.000-06:00

Back one sunny morning this past June, I went with two roommates to get a little ink. I had the word HOPE tattooed on my wrist. Brenna put FAITH on her ankle and Linda put LOVE on her arm. It was as important for me to share that experience with those two amazing women, as it was important for me to toss a little scripture on my person, as it was important to mark the theme of my year permanently. I debated over where to put that word and how to write it. I ended up placing HOPE inside my left wrist, facing me, in my own handwriting because I needed to be a constant reminder. I needed to be able to see it all the time. And in my handwriting, I hoped (good pun) it would remind me to have hope in myself.

Well, since putting that on my arm in permanent, black ink, I've been seeing hope everywhere, and nowhere, all the time. I have great hope in the church teams that come down here and change lives- those lives of the people they help, and their own lives as they experience a new kind of service and community. I see hope in home dedication ceremonies, church re-dedications, new business openings, bridge openings, and increased tourism. I see hope in the commitment and continued efforts of folks who've long past burn-out, but keep working and moving, powered by the grace of God.

But I lose hope every day too. Hope fades in the knowledge that funds are running out and agencies are shutting down while there are still so many homes to rebuild. Hope fades in volunteer villages sitting empty for weeks at a time. Hope fades as homeowners become more and more frustrated with the process that's gone on for far too long. Hope fades in another twister in Alabama, flooding in the Northwest, fires in California, and disaster upon disaster. Hope fades in the smog of agency and church turmoil. Hope fades in my own failures and limitations and feelings of burnt-out-edness.

For the past year and a half I've attempted to manage the ups and downs of my journey in hope with prayer. I've never been a good pray-er and it was something I decided to focus on upon accepting life as a churchy-worker-type two Augusts ago.

The thing is, I desperately want to be a prayer warrior. And not just for the awesome costume I imagine I'd get to wear. I admire the women in my life who will stop and pray any time any where. A man here once prayed with me over the phone and it blew me away. Folks that I've befriended on this journey really, really believe in this prayer stuff. For me, it's something I've always done because I am supposed to do it- like making my bed. I don't really believe in that either. I mean, you're just going to mess it up again later in the day, so what's the point! But I say my prayers at night, before meals, in church, when an ambulance passes, and whenever someone else asks me to pray for them or their family. And I mean it. I think. Kinda.

I tried prayer journaling last fall. It lasted about a month and a half. Wasn't for me. Then I tried prayer walking. I was just a freak talking to myself and almost getting hit by cars all the time. I attended Handsboro's weekly prayer meetings. I let Linda talk me into praying with her whenever she wanted. I sought guidance from my favorite religious leaders. I started doing morning devotions. I tried it all, but remained unconvinced.

Recently, I survived another rough fall. Another season that challenged me- professionally and emotionally, but more importantly, spiritually. Lately, I've been feeling that I'm failing that challenge. This prayer problem has been kicking my butt.

I called Lauren this week, because she's that church friend that I can ask anything- no matter how ridiculous or blasphemous or vulgar or ignorant- without freaking her out. I asked her if I don't really believe in prayer, if that meant that I don't really believe in God. She told me a hippie story about prayer as molecules of energy that made a lot of sense, but in that warm-fuzzy hippie way that you really can't argue with, since there might be a flake of truth to it and anyway you want it to be true because it would be so beautiful. But I'm still not convinced. Then Linda wrote a blog about people who don't believe in prayer. Then I started reading Eat, Pray, Love where Elizabeth Gilbert talks and talks and talks about prayer.

So the whole prayer thing is being thrown in my face big time. And I still don't have an answer. But I've decided to have hope. Hope in prayer. Hope in my prayer. I don't know if my prayers are really appropriate. I don't know if it makes sense for me to ask for specific or general guidance in prayer. I don't know if my prayers are silly. I don't know if my prayers are truly genuine. And I really don't know if my prayers are really heard....

but I hope so. I've decided to hope so.

I really, really hope so.

Lost Day

2008-02-08T00:20:00.000-06:00

Today began just as calm as any other day- no heat running out in the middle of the night, no evacuation calls at 3 am, no cat-fight at a long term recovery meeting- but sparked up before lunch then just kept rolling.

We're having major changes at one village that needed to be dealt with immediately. I missed a going away lunch with two friends to tend to some of the changes. Then a few jobs I thought we lined up for another village fell through, so it is back to the scramble of finding more funded work for the massive (awesome) amount of volunteers coming in next month. I know- it is a terrible problem to have, right?

I ran home at 5pm to walk the dog and make an attempt at sorting my insanely large collection of Mardi Gras beads when I looked up and realized that it was time to go for dinner. My bud Kerry and I went to Handsboro (the church where we both lived/worked/worshiped last year) for dinner. We followed that with some quality play time with the Castleman kids and 4 hours of watching LOST on TiVo with Scott and Rebecca. We'd held off watching the premiere last week because Rebecca was out of town, so we all had to catch up.

Now it is after midnight and I am goofing off online in hopes of releasing some of the knots in my stomach before settling into bed.

Where did the hours go???

Ash Wednesday

2008-02-06T23:25:00.000-06:00

Psalm 51
Miserere mei, Deus

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your
loving-kindness;
in your great compassion blot out my offenses.

Wash me through and through from my wickedness
and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.

Against you only have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight.

And so you are justified when you speak
and upright in your judgment

Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth,
a sinner from my mother's womb.

For behold, you look for truth deep within me,
and will make me understand wisdom secretly.

Purge me from my sin, and I shall be pure;
wash me, and I shall be clean indeed.

Make me hear of joy and gladness,
that the body you have broken may rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from your presence
and take not your holy Spirit from me.

Give me the joy of your saving help again
and sustain me with your bountiful Spirit.

I shall teach your ways to the wicked,
and sinners shall return to you.

Deliver me from death, O God,
and my tongue shall sing of your righteousness,
O God of my salvation.

Open my lips, O Lord,
and my mouth shall proclaim your praise.

Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice;
but you take no delight in burnt-offerings.

The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Super Tuesday!

2008-02-05T21:20:00.001-06:00

Just got back to Gulfport from spending a long weekend in New Orleans for Mardi Gras. My buds Emily and Nick came down to celebrate with me and the PDA gang. It was four days of friends, food and fun and I loved every bit of it. As Eddie and I watch election returns, we're uploading photos from the weekend. I'll get 'em out to ya ASAP.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Gettin' it done.

2008-01-30T23:35:00.000-06:00

I love lists. I love making lists and I especially enjoy checking things off the list! In my job I make a lot of lists but rarely get to check things off. Something always comes up that needs to be dealt with immediately while the rest of the day's list has to wait. Most of the projects I work on are long and on-going and never really have a check-point-ending. It frustrates the list checker in me to no end. Lately, I haven't been good about checking things off my personal/spiritual checklists either. So this week, I decided to step up my check marks- personal, spiritual, and professional!

On Sunday, church was awesome! I worshiped at New Life, where normally we only have about 5-10 folks in attendance. This week we had several visitors and a volunteer group show up. Those pews were packed! It was pretty great to sit among that gathering after all the quiet weeks of late. Then my bud Kerry stuck around to finish the deck building project started a bit ago outside my trailer. I was extremely helpful in that process. I forced him to teach me everything about it because I am still determined to pick up as much construction knowledge as possible while I am down here. Can you believe it was my first time using a power-nailer-thing? Oh darn, what is it called? And it only took three air compressors to get the job done. We ended up eating a late lunch sitting on my new deck with my dog. I'm really a trailer girl now!

My work week started on Monday with meetings and home visits galore. I've got some help for the next I-don't-know-how-long in the form of one of our long-term volunteers, Kaitlyn. Right now we're doing a lot of training and chatting and I am thrilled about it. On Monday Kaitlyn joined me for the meetings and home visits. That night I picked up a few pals and went to an 80s roller skating party hosted by a new friend who works for another recovery agency on the Coast. I'm still nursing a blister on my ankle and a sore tummy from all the laughing!

Tuesday brought the arrival of some PDA big-wigs and do-gooders for some planning and brainstorming. Now, I realize that I am running the risk of returning to my old Pollyanna ways, but I was encouraged and energized by the meeting. I was just there to listen, but they were thoughtful and asked good questions and wanted suggestions from ground staff. The crew stayed for dinner in the Village where we all ate with the volunteers who are in town this week from Missouri (which I always pronounce as Misery because my sister who lived there taught me that, but I don't do that now because these folks brought good food with them so now that state is cool with me).

Today I made arrangements to get my car into the shop next week for repairs from the accident I had right before Christmas. Then there were more long term recovery meetings and lots and lots of phone calls. Some of those phone calls worked out some details of jobs we've been stuck on for a while! I followed that up with some play time with Eddie, The Wonder Dog (that's what I am calling him now that he's figured out how to play soccer AND carry two tennis balls in his mouth at the same time), and dinner and a great movie with a great pal. (Have you seen Juno? I loved it!)

Tomorrow Kaitlyn and I have a full day of home visits followed by an attempt at a Mardi Gras parade (weather permitting). Friday I'll be working paperwork and phones at one of our Villages and then cleaning my trailer like a mad-woman to prepare for the arrival of my best buds for a visit this weekend!

So I still haven't made a dent in the 6 half-read books beside my bed, or found funding for all the homes on which we're working, or done my laundry, or cultivated world peace, but I did get a few things done this week and that'll due for now!

Good News!

2008-01-26T00:46:00.001-06:00

The trailer furnace man fixed my heat today! It's been a week of cold nights in this tin box I call home. Eddie and I are quite happy and warm as we head for bed tonight.

Sweet dreams....

Home Sick

2008-01-21T19:10:00.000-06:00

I've been nursing a chest cold for several days now. Today it proved too tough to fight so I stayed home from work. I've now spent more hours than I can count in my trailer and here is what I learned:

---I still love HGTV. The House Hunters marathon made my day.
---My trailer couch is not comfortable enough for a 4 hour nap.
---I was one smart cookie for buying that space heater yesterday.
---I will not let Eddie try wet dog food again. The gas fumes are too dangerous.
---Sometimes I really should break down and take the medicine. Just take it!
---11 daytime hours in a trailer is really too much.

A whole new level of geekiness

2008-01-17T21:43:00.000-06:00

Just noticed that I posted that blog below on one laptop, while cuing up a DVD on the other laptop and checking emails on the Blackberry.

Scary.

But I guess I'm okay, since all that was done from the comfort of my travel-trailer by the railroad tracks in southern Mississippi.

Right?

Just for Fun

2008-01-17T21:16:00.001-06:00

I welcomed Eddie into my life (and my trailer) about a month and a half ago. Since then, we've had lots of fun and just a few little fights. He's already moved past his scared, calm days and is now in full high-energy, learning-new-tricks puppy mode. When I returned home from dinner tonight I noticed that he again had snuck into the shower and found himself a treat in the form of my face soap. I started compiling a mental list of things Eddie has eaten/crewed beyond recognition since moving into the Sprinter. The list cracked me up, so I thought I should share it here:

1. A loofah
2. My Life is Good flip flops
3. Two tubes of face soap
4. My sunglasses
5. Linda's computer power cord
6. About 12 rawhide bones
7. 1/2 a stalk of celery (a whole stalk fell to the floor, I was curious to see what he'd do- not much- apparently doesn't care for veggies)
8. My swim suit
9. The ankle zipper out of my favorite sweatpants
10. A razor he jumped for in the shower
11. The shower liner
12. 20 plastic grocery bags in one sitting
13. Two cardboard boxes
14. One ornament off my Christmas Tree
15. Seven socks, including Lauren's Christmas socks on Christmas morning
16. The corner of my couch
17. A plastic measuring cup
18. My copy of Into The Wild
19. An empty cigarette box he found by the street
20. HIS BED!

Down and Up Again

2008-01-14T20:39:00.000-06:00

Mical left the Coast today. He's the second of three great pals/co-workers who are moving on this month. It breaks my heart to see them go, but I know they've all got great adventures ahead of them. I've been missing Lauren something terrible since she left last week. And I am just bummed.

But two things really cheered me up today:

First, I spent the day in the office with our new Interim Volunteer Village Coordinator who was really kicking into gear. She just arrived last night and has already made a huge impact on our operations. It is so great to have a strong new set of hands on the team.

Then, I got home from work to find my two great pals, Dan and Kerry, building me a deck. It was dark, and getting late, but they had the glow of the truck headlights to keep working! I've been the only trailer in the Village without a deck since I moved in and my grassy, wet feet are sad about that every day. Dan and Kerry went out of their way to get me a deck today- TODAY- because they knew how bummed I've been. And that's not it. They did it in style. You see, most of the fellas we work with here spend weeks without shaving. Mical was famous for coming up with fun facial hair patterns. For months I've been begging one of them to rock the mustache alone! None would do it. Finally, last week, Kerry challenged Dan and I on it and asked me to grow a sharpie-'stache in exchange for Dan's real 'stache. Well, when I arrived home today, not only were they building the deck, but they were building while rocking their mustaches! I haven't laughed that hard in months. Dan looked horrible. Really creepy. You could hardly tell that Kerry had a 'stache, but the gesture was well worth it! Dan made me promise not to put the photos up on Facebook, but he said nothing about this blog, so here you go....

And yes, I did come through with my end of the deal. Here's me with a Sharpie-Stache:

Dan, Kerry- I love you, love you, love you!

The start of a pattern?

2008-01-12T22:54:00.001-06:00

Yes, another great day to report on!

This week was another doozey, but today I took the day off. Really off. All day! If was my first full day off since Christmas Day and it was very, very nice:

Slept in until 8:30.
Walked Dog.
3 loads of laundry.
Took down Christmas decorations, but left the tree up.
Taught dog how to catch a frisbee.
Sat outside in a t-shirt and shorts, soaking in the sun, with no bugs, while reading and petting the dog.
Margaritas in the sun with Dan around 2:30.
Kerry brought over new stairs for my trailer! No more falling for me and Ed!
Went out to watch football with the gang.
Came back to the village and watched more football with the gang.
In bed by 10:30pm.

And now for a change....

2008-01-09T23:55:00.000-06:00

...a good day to share with you!

I fell like I spend most of my blogging life whining. Do I? Wow, I sure hope not. So, in an effort to share some of the highs- here you go.

Today, after being woken up at 2:45 am by the call from one of our village managers who was reporting that they were evacuating the volunteers from their camp due to tornado warnings but that their designated safe location was locked and so they planned instead to ride out the warning time in a local Wal-Mart, and the subsequent wake-up call at 4:00 am saying that they'd made it back to the village and safely back to bed, tornado-free., and after saying good-bye to a great friend who moved away from the coast today, I shared in some minor successes that deserve some major celebration:

I had a productive meeting with a homeowner, volunteer, and long-term volunteer where we actually made a plan to make a home livable for the homeowner. We found resources to provide a skilled volunteer team with materials to finish out the work for one of the many, many homeowners down here who are so sick of waiting to get back into their homes that they are moving in before the work is done (read: electricity/plumbing).

Then I went to a long term recovery meeting where I think I finally, finally made the right connection to set some of our homeowners up with some real, tangible help in the coming months. This particular agency has been under some major changes in the past month and today I got to see the progress in action. It gave me some much needed hope.

I had lunch with our HQ team and our National Coordinator. Lately, I've been dreading our HQ meetings- they've been dragging on and tugging hard on the emotions. But today we spoke, joked, and got some business done. It felt good.

I had a good walk with the pup after lunch (always a treat).

I went back to the office and made a dent in my way-over-due paperwork pile.

I received an email from a departed volunteer who is considering plans to return!

I called my friend/pastor from MD and stumbled into the middle of our church mission committee meeting- so I got to share this great day with folks from home that I miss so dearly.

I hunkered down in the trailer, tucked in with the pup and watched a really good movie.

I'll take a Wednesday like this one (minus the early morning evacuation stuff and the friend leaving me stuff) any time!

FYI

2008-01-06T13:17:00.000-06:00

The Redskins ended an inspirational run for the playoffs with a thud last night by losing thier Wild Card game in blazing fashion. Eddie and I are pretty shaken up by it, but the 70 degree weather outside today sure is helping to heal our broken hearts.

This weekend I am spending most of my time helping to prepare Villages for the return of volunteers while also helping one of our long-term volunteers (and a dear, dear friend) pack to leave the Coast. She's moving to Chicago. I hear it's a bit colder than 70 degress there. Think she knows?

It doesn't get easier. Why don't they tell you that?!

2008-01-02T18:34:00.000-06:00

How DO you spend the day on the third anniversary of your little sister's death? I wish Oprah would provide a show on this so I wouldn't have to muddle through it without a guide. Since The Mighty O didn't spell it out for me, this is what became of my today:

6:30 am Alarm clock goes off. Hit snooze.
6:33 am BlackBerry alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
(This set repeats for another 11 minutes.)

6:44 am Rise. Back very sore. Eyes are puffy from crying last night. Not a good start. Dear friend who slept over is still kind of asleep. Quietly dress and take dog out for morning walk, convinced that if the day is kicked off with quiet, reflection, and prayer that it will go well- calm, cool, collected--- not raging and crying. Right. Good plan.

6:47 am Outside. Realize that I am way under dressed for this frigid Mississippi morning. Decide not to go back to the trailer- convinced that once moving will be warmer.

6:48 am Crap. It's so cold. Tuck face into hoodie and hands into sleeves. If I cry while walking the tears will freeze to my face. That won't be pleasant. Talk myself out of crying. I mean it. Oh, remind myself to bring cups to morning meeting as requested. Must remember cups.

7:35 am Return from morning walk completely frozen. Feed frozen dog. Shower, if only to thaw out. Flip the TV on to SportsCenter while trying to talk myself into the day. Laugh when the SportCenter guy sings the Snowmeiser song while covering last night's outdoor hockey game. Good- laughing- Good.

7:51 am Receive email that my ride to my morning meeting will be late. Find 17 other things to do to keep busy for 15 minutes, as not to have empty time and space for mind to wander. Delete emails from BlackBerry, clip toenails, straighten up living room, pile laundry, organize mail, etc. Busy, busy, busy. No crying. Good.

8:15 am Meet my ride to go to the meeting. Can it really still be that cold outside? Pile into giant truck for bumpy ride to Pearlington. This oughtta be good on the sore back. Break out the BlackBerry for the morning round of emails while in the car. What did people do before multi-tasking became popular? Their minds must have wandered and then they cried. Silly single-taskers.

8:30 am Freak out when sappy Kenny Chesney song comes on the radio. Remember that Chesney is lame and that you should not ever cry during one of his whiny songs, even if it is the one that always makes you think of your sister. Try to stop crying. Look out the window. No crying. Turn the radio dial. Chesney is on every station. How is that possible? Find a station with no Chesney. It's Big and Rich and they're screaming about saving horses and riding cowboys. Sing along about riding a cowboy- it is a sure way to stop the tears. Chuckle when sweet, 6'5", non-country-loving friend who's driving the truck starts singing along about riding a cowboy so I don't feel bad. Good friend.

8:58 am After arriving in Pearlington, sit in the truck a moment to pray for patience. Remember that it is not all about you today, even though you wish it were. The world goes on. This day and every day -- for all of us. Deal with it.

9:00 am Meeting with Village Staff in Pearlington. We have to meet in the kitchen because it is the only place warm enough that we can talk without teeth chattering. Meeting's not great, but there's no crying. Feeling a bit accomplished.

10:10 am Overnight guest is driving out of Mississippi, stopping by to say farewell in Pearlington. Mumble awkward goodbye before escaping to solitude in the truck to wait for driver to be ready to go. No room in my heart for drama, goodbyes, or other people's emotions today. I've got me and mine to worry about.

10:20 am Drive back to Gulfport with sweet, 6'5", non-country-loving, cowboy-riding-song-singing friend who tolerates my insane bursts of crying, anger, laughter, ridiculousness, gossip and rage. Tumble out of the truck to get supplies for a new volunteer and to check that someone is going to make a propane run today so I'll have heat in the trailer tonight. Welcome back a fun friend who's been out of town for a while. Proud of self for having pulled it together to appear normal for a bit. Get annoyed with myself for being proud of having pulled it together. It's been three years. Get over it and move on. Sheesh.

11:30 am Head to the office. Sit in the car emailing on BlackBerry while waiting for co-worker/confidant who will join in to carpool to lunch.

11:48 am Head to lunch with co-worker/confidant who is also having a bad day, week, month, etc. Listen to her share her bummer of a New Year's Eve. She receives a call that we both need to be on an important conference call in 30 minutes, wherever we are. Good thing we've got BlackBerries. Crap! Forgot the cups this morning. Frustrated with self for being forgetful today. Make arrangements for some one else to take care of The Great Cup Crisis of 2008.

12:30 pm While enjoying THE BEST sweet potato fries ever made, listen in to conference call where a huge bomb is dropped on our agency. Sit in shock. Marvel over how The Church sometimes just doesn't get it. Wonder how I can be involved in such a church. Feel totally powerless to help. Waves of frustration and confusion seep in. Finish fries. Head back to the office - very deflated.

1:30 pm Spend the afternoon in the office working on creating training documents and standardized paperwork. Don't have what I need to finish. Boil with frustration. Turn on radio, turn off radio. Get up, sit down, get up, sit down. Nothing is comfortable, nothing is working. Phone and email ringing off the hook. So quick to anger. Prayer for patience earlier needs repeating. Not interested in prayer currently. Wow. Push through.

4:30 pm Give up on working. Run out to pick up a cake for tomorrow's all-staff meeting and to buy some utility knives for new staff. Home Depot only has one Husky knife. Lowes has none. Urg. Irrational anger at the sub-par stocking habits of home repair supply warehouses consumes me. Decide after bad luck there not to try get the cake tonight. Decide to be done with the day. Just done.

5:20 pm Arrive back in the Village in time to set up car pooling for tomorrow's meeting, quickly walk dog, check the mail, and snuggle in with Charlie Gibson's Iowa pre-game. Suddenly problems of the nation/world seem silly. I'm the one with real heartache. Idiots.

6:00 pm Heat up departed overnight guest's leftover calzone and teach Eddie to play fetch while watching Hardball at the same time, a trick every dog should master. Matthews does everything he can to test the attention span, but Eddie fetches on. Try to remember the last time work ended in time to catch Hardball. Getting frustrated with thoughts of work so give up trying to remember. Channel surf during the commercials and wonder if Monster.com really does hear my calling calling or if I should quit my current job and try out for CMT's Ultimate Coyote Ugly Contest. Decide that today's not for that kind of thinking.

6:30 pm Give up on TV and the outside world. Slap on the flannel jammies and bunker down in bed with the new laptop and three of the six books that usually just sit, half-read for months at a time, next to the bed.

6:32 pm Soak in the sounds of Eddie gnawing on his bone in the living room while waiting for the computer to fire up. Thank my lucky stars that there is a gentle, loving beast in the trailer tonight. Decide that the gentle, loving beast might could break the rules tonight by receiving permission to sleep IN the bed.

6:35 pm Start preparing a mental list of things to do tonight to occupy a wandering mind. Review the list of things already done today that occupied the wandering mind successfully. Turn that list into a blog. Decide if it is selfish to post such a blog, especially given general inability to talk to live people-style-friend-types about feelings today. Prepare to post it anyway, in an effort to be honest.

7:10 pm The call of the Internet is too tempting. Succumb to the Google to check if Molly's funeral site guest book is still available online. It is. Read through some of the entries. How can it be that it was three years ago when it hurts like it was today? How can there be no more answers, no further closure? Why do people say that time heals these wounds? They make you feel self-indulgent for still hurting after three years; for talking about it too much and crying too much; for allowing it to continue to change a life your trying to survive. Calling family doesn't help because they don't grieve the way you do and don't understand how you feel and you can't relate to where they are in the process either because you're too caught up in yourself anyway. Sit in it. The aloneness is overwhelming. Cry, cry, cry.

7:45 pm There's the noise of the loving beast chewing his bone. He knows nothing of life before or after the event that changed it all. He just chews. Ah, to be a dog.

8:00 pm Give up trying to make sense of anything and hit the lights. Throw on the Gilmore Girls Season 7 DVD to drown out any pangs of reality and try to drift off to sleep without re-opening the meaning of life debate. There's always tomorrow.....

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T20:36:00.001-06:00

Wherever you are, whomever you're with, whatever you are doing.....

May you be blessed with love, work, friends, peace, joy, laughter, football and fun!

Cheers to 2008!!!

Always a cheater.....

2007-12-28T00:12:00.000-06:00

So in addition to occasionally writing on this blog, I also read a number of other blogs. One of my favorites is the revgalblogpals. It's my impression that it is really more of an online community than a blog. The revgals show that they are a group of women pastors and church professionals who share with/support one another through the magical medium of the blog. Now, by writing this, I am forced to admit that I am stealing from these women. I am not a member of this community, but regularly peruse their blogs to learn, laugh, ponder, and cry with them.

One of the special weekly treats on the revgals blog is their Friday Five. Each week a member asks all of these blogging women of faith to list five of something on their blogs- sometimes they are funny lists, sometimes they are deeply emotional lists. The lists are always entertaining. This week's Friday Five got me thinking. Since it is the last Friday of the year, Singing Owl (blogging woman of faith's online alter ego) asked the women to list five memorable moments of 2007, giving actual bonus points to anyone who pulled out a warm and fuzzy God moment to share.

The blog assignment, plus the nearing end of the year, plus my general liking of lists got me going on this...so I decided to play, even though I'm not listed on the roster.

Here's what I got- my five memorable moments of the year:

1. The day I spent crying over my job, only to return home to a letter in the mailbox, from a homeowner, who said that she felt God had left her in my hands. That letter that changed my tour with disaster work forever and has carried me through every difficult day I've had on the Coast.

2. The spontaneous BBQ at the Handsboro apartment. Sharing instant fun with people I love dearly....unplanned, unstructured, undeniably the best moment of the spring!

3. My church's mission trip to the Gulf Coast. Their love and support throughout this year was so powerful. But having them here on the Coast, seeing it all through their eyes, seeing their relationships grow- there's nothing like that and I'll never have the right words to describe how it inspired me.

4. My cousin's wedding this summer in MA. My mother's side of the family is pretty tight. We gather as a group of 40 or more each year for Thanksgiving. But that is about the only time the whole gang is together. Except for my sister's funeral three years ago. The wedding this summer felt like a real release. The family celebrated, really celebrated, with joy and love again. It changed everything about how we talk, walk, and play together. I also got to spend some quality one on one time with some cousins that I've always wanted to know better. And the wedding itself. The idea of two people standing before God and everyone they love and making a commitment to one another in faith, hope and love- it still gets me- every time!

5. My first trip to Ghost Ranch, NM. A sunrise hike to the top of Chimney Rock, an afternoon jaunt to a dirty cave, the group challenge up Kitchen Mesa, and some quality alone time.

6. The ongoing lesson in humility, and through that- forgiveness- that I've been living since arriving on the Gulf Coast. I've seen some of the ugliest and most beautiful parts of my own character come out down here, and I've seen all of that in others as well. A whole new world of gray is opening up every day. I've begged God for years to teach me to forgive. I think the daily failures I experience here are teaching me how to forgive myself, and then others. It's a fantastic start..... and an answer to a whole lot of prayer.

Okay, there's my list. It's six. Not five. I cheated on my stolen assignment. And it's no longer Friday. Fooey!

Sometimes pictures say it better

2007-12-27T02:30:00.000-06:00

Click here to take a look at Christmas 2007- in my trailer.

Since my last blog...

2007-12-22T09:05:00.000-06:00

...we held a memorial service in honor of Rich. It was as beautiful as a memorial service can be. It's going to take a while for everyone to heal. And that's just speaking for his PDA family here on the coast, most of whom had only known him for 3-12 months. His funeral was held in his hometown in Ohio last Saturday. PDA Gulf Coast staff was unable to attend that service because...

...we went on retreat in Gulf Shores, AL. In what has now become an annual tradition for our staff and long-term volunteers, we had scheduled this retreat more than a month ago, and given recent events, we felt we all really needed some quiet time together. We enjoyed fabulous beach weather, tasty meals, some quality board game time and even gathered to watch White Christmas together. It was just the refreshing retreat we all needed after a busy fall and an emotional December.

...I went to see the Singing Christmas Tree.

...I attended the home dedication for house that PDA volunteers have been working on through one of our partnerships. Talk about coming home for the holidays!

...I became a house-sitter extraordinaire! I've been hanging at a friend's house all week while she and her family are on a cruise. I'm enjoying the space, the real shower, and all of her sweet animals. Eddie is making some new friends over here and there haven't been too many issues between him and the cats.

...My mom surprised me with a visit. She's staying through Christmas morning. She can't believe how warm it is here.

...I was in a minor car accident, which left me in bed for two days with a sore neck. I'm very thankful it wasn't too bad and that the lady who hit me has insurance.

...I didn't get my Christmas Cards out on time. See above. Expect yours next week.

...Mom and I visited the live nativity scene across the street. They had a real camel. A CAMEL!

...I finally, finally feel like I may be ready to celebrate Christmas. It's almost here!!!

Hoping for Peace

2007-12-09T21:39:00.001-06:00

This morning, for the second Sunday of advent, we lit the candle of peace.

I'm not feeling the peace right now.

Let me back up.

Wednesday afternoon, I received some tough news from home. My family has been battling for information about my sister's death with the hospital, insurance company, and radiology company for almost three years. This week, my family reached a settlement, but it came without answers. I hadn't been very involved in the process, but the minute it became final, my heart ripped open. I will never know what happened to Molly. For almost three years, I've told myself I didn't care. I do. I care so much that I can hardly breathe. And that's how I have to continue, because we'll never, never know. My mom won't know. Molly's daughter won't know. It's more than I can handle.

On Thursday, we had a regular staff meeting. We started saying good bye to our coordinator, Rich, and two long-term volunteers who have become great friends. There were a few tears and a few laughs, but most of the goodbyes were to be saved for our beach retreat planned for next weekend. I bought a cake for these three lovely men, but as we got busy with the business of meeting, I forgot to take the cake out of the fridge and we never ate it.

Friday morning, I woke up early to have my four problematic wisdom teeth removed. Driving back from the oral surgeon's office, I received an email about an emergency meeting. We drove into the village and nearly the entire PDA volunteer force was gathered around the fire pit. I was still a bit foggy from the surgery, and stumbled into my trailer. Wilf and Virginia came in and shared the shocking news that Rich had been killed a one-car accident overnight. My head cleared and my heart sank. I've been a mix of denial, sadness, anger and fear ever since that moment.

Rich Cozzone was a man of faith and service. His job, like many of ours, had him driving all over the coast all the time. Bad weather, bad roads, blackberries on, crazy supplies falling from trucks, long hours, rushed schedules....

But it was Rich! It couldn't possibly happen to one of us. It just couldn't. And I was just talking with him. I mean, the man lives in the trailer next to me! We just spent time sanding the walls of a local church where he told me the story of how he met his wife. We've struggled and served next to each other these past few months, and now he's not there. And I'm just the girl who's known him for a few months. Rich leaves behind a wife, three young-adult children, a grandchild on the way, hundreds of students, and dozens of teams of volunteers, just to start the list.....

I don't understand. I can't find the peace. The joy of this season is lost on me right now.

Most weeks, this work, this place, is full of the highs and the lows. We live our entire existence in the extreme struggles and successes of lives in recovery. The beauty of people working together balances the lack of funding for building materials. Watching volunteers and homeowners from totally different backgrounds befriending one-another eases the thoughts of families spending a third Christmas in a FEMA trailer. These rationalizations are my attempt at making peace in this environment, in my own limitations, and in those of my community.

But how do you explain these seemingly senseless losses? How do you make peace with the untimely death of a family member? How do you go on without asking why? Without asking how? Where's the peace in that? I don't see it right now.

I'm angry. I am so sad. I am totally lost. And as I am writing this, I am realizing that I am also totally selfish. This shouldn't be a blog about me. It should be a prayer request for Rich's family back in Ohio and the PDA family here on the Coast. It should be a sweet letter of celebration of the life of a tender-hearted man. But I keep finding myself stuck in my own questions and doubts. It's a mess. I'm a mess. And not very peaceful. Not one bit. I want to be done with advent this year. Done.

But last week, when we started this advent season, we lit the candle of hope. And there is something I've always loved about the tradition of lighting advent candles. The quiet, the ritual, the symbolism, yes, yes, yes. But mostly, I love that each candle is a part of the whole, eventually guiding us to the Light of Christ. Even in that little circle of 5 candles, it is a journey. And that journey has an order. The peace candle can't be lit before the hope candle. That equation would never work out. So for tonight, the second Sunday of advent, instead of lighting the peace candle, in my heart I'll keep that hope candle lit. I'll keep a hope that even though I don't feel it right now, the peace candle isn't too far away after all. And maybe, maybe, maybe, through this dark time, I can keep trying to walk the journey toward that light.

In the past 72 hours I have....

2007-12-03T21:22:00.000-06:00

...decorated my trailer for Christmas.
...been totally inspired by a New Life Church member.
...changed another flat tire.
...cried over friends who've left the coast recently.
...completely enjoyed being with good friends who are still here.
...met with a homeowner who's getting paperwork together to apply for funding to repair her home.
...burned one grilled cheese sandwich.
...only eaten one Big Bopper. (good job!)
...watched too much football.
...played way too much snood.
...watched 2 Christmas movies.
...fallen asleep reading the same book three times.
...slept a grand total of 13 hours.
...bowled a 49.
...bowled a 149.
...seen my teeth on tv.
...sanded the walls of a church.
...killed three cockroaches.
...been introduced to a fabulous new team of AmeriCorps volunteers.
...enjoyed breakfast with peacocks.
...forgotten to do laundry.
...argued with a Wal-Mart employee.
...received a handful of the best hugs I've had all fall.
...missed my nieces and nephews terribly, while nursing a sore throat.
...secured funding for two floor repairs.
...welcomed an addition to my home:

Here's to hope....

2007-12-02T00:27:00.000-06:00

Recently I was home for Thanksgiving. I was heckled a bit by loving friends and family about not blogging. I decided to get back to it. Then, somehow, another week has blown by. How?

This fall has been rough. I hate that every blog I write starts with some version of that sentence. But then, that is what this is all about. It is hard work. Period. I've never before been a part of something totally new. We're still creating this mass-scale disaster recovery stuff. It is new every day. I don't know how to explain that to people who haven't come down to the Gulf Coast, because it really doesn't make any logical sense, but it is so true. We're still disorganized, under-staffed, under-funded, befuddled, and confused. You'd think that we'd figured some of that out by now, but nope, we're still playing catch up. Whew. So we're busy. Always. Even when there are no volunteers in town. There is simply too much work to do. And I am amazed that ANYTHING gets done. But somehow it does and and that is unbelievably inspiring.

I spent the day Friday in a meeting room with our PDA Gulf Coast HQ team planning and organizing. It was my favorite day of the fall. For the first time in a months, I have hope and energy and I'm excited about our work again. We can do better and, now, I believe we will. It changed my outlook on everything down here. I'm smiling at people in the grocery store again, I sing along with the Christmas music on the radio, I get fired up to go in to the office..... I'm ready!

Bring it.

A Litany of Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T10:20:00.000-06:00

Give thanks to the Lord who is good. God's love is everlasting. Come, let us praise God joyfully. Let us come to God with thanksgiving.

For the good world; for things great and small, beautiful and awesome; for seen and unseen splendors;
Thank you, God.

For human life; for talking and moving and thinking together; for common hopes and hardships shared from birth until our dying;
Thank you, God.

For work to do and strength to work; for the comradeship of labor; for exchanges of good humor and encouragement;
Thank you, God.

For marriage; for the mystery and joy of flesh made one; for mutual forgiveness and burdens shared; for secrets kept in love;
Thank you, God.

For family; for living together and eating together; for family amusements and family pleasures;
Thank you, God.

For children; for their energy and curiosity; for their brave play and startling frankness; for their sudden sympathies;
Thank you, God.

For the young; for their high hopes; for their irreverence toward worn-out values; for their search for freedom; for their solemn vows;
Thank you, God.

For growing up and growing old; for wisdom deepened by experience; for rest in leisure; and for time made precious by its passing;
Thank you, God.

For your help in times of doubt and sorrow; for healing our diseases; for preserving us in temptation and danger;
Thank you, God.

For the church into which we have been called; for the good news we receive by Word and Sacrament; for our life together in the Lord;
We praise you, God.

For your Holy Spirit, who guides our steps and brings us gifts of faith and love; who prays in us and prompts our grateful worship;
We praise you, God.

Above all, O God, for your Son Jesus Christ, who lived and died and lives again for our salvation; for our hope in him; and for the joy of serving him;
We thank and praise you, Eternal God, for all your goodness to us.
Give thanks to the Lord, who is good. God's love is everlasting.

from the Book of Common Worship, pg. 792-793

Ten Random Things About Me

2007-11-18T20:25:00.000-06:00

There is a bit of tagging going on with this post. From SL and Linda, and now to me......just because it is fun!

Here's what I came up with...some randomness fit for a list:

1. I drive a green Chevy Cavalier that's called Burt. She's a girl. A girl called Burt.

2. I've lived in 5 different states and two countries.

3. I've worked in a cubicle, in a church, in an office with a mountain view, in a school, in a courthouse, at an indoor pool, at an outdoor pool, at a restaurant, inside a historic library, and at the county fair.

4. I've never worked retail.

5. My favorite foods are all orange: Cheetos and mac-n-cheese.

6. I hate the feel of bare mattresses and bare pillows. Sometimes I wear socks on my hands when I change my sheets.

7. I'm quite accident prone. I've broken my arm 5 times, broke my foot and a couple of toes, herniated a disk in my back, and also had major injuries to my knee, ankle, and shoulders.

8. I pick up accents pretty easily. It's because I make fun of the way people talk and then it sticks.

9. I cry. All the time. At birthday parties. At sappy movies. In church. At every wedding. When ESPN puts together sports montages. If I loose my keys. All the time.

10. I love leopard print anything. It's tacky and bold and I just love it. Can't help it. Love, love, love.

Do you blog? Have you done the random list yet? No? Then it is now your turn. Consider yourself tagged, suckers!

And now for some good news!

2007-11-13T11:09:00.001-06:00

Click here.

To Blog or Not To Blog....

2007-11-10T23:54:00.000-06:00

It's been a while.

Not sure what I am doing with this blog thing anymore. I started blogging about a year ago as an efficient way to help family, church, and friends keep up to date with what I was working on down here.

Not much has changed.

No one likes to hear that. I call home and people say, "what's new?" and I got nothing. It's the same stuff. So I stop calling home. Some of the same stuff is drama and frustration and sadness. But a lot of that same stuff is really good. I am surrounded by wonderful, loving, busy folks doing great work ... just as they have for the past 14 months.

But same stuff makes for boring blogging.

But to give it an honest try, I will attempt to share what news I can from the past month that might be of some interest to my faithful pals who've stuck around to continue reading this blog, even when I'm not so good at updating it.

In the past month I have:

Busted another car tire (that's five in one year, if you are counting)
visited the most awesome friends ever, up in Oxford, MS
struck a deal with a long-term recovery org, americorps, and pda that might actually help some folks down here
pushed through exactly ONE grant application on behalf of ONE family
cheered my cheeks off at the very cool VooDooFest in New Orleans (I'm still totally in love with Trombone Shorty and Irma Thomas)
become a key player in an all-out peanut-butter-prank-war
logged more than 3000 miles on my work vehicle
walked 50 miles in 3 days back at home with my sister to benefit the Nat'l MS Society
nearly adopted a dog, three times, before panicking at the thought of that commitment
missed church three times
enjoyed visits from two of my amazing roommates from last year
started making plans for my visit home for Thanksgiving....dreaming of turkey!

Guess I had more to say that not.....

But are we ready for this "progress"?

2007-10-31T13:31:00.000-05:00

Click here to read the article.

PDA 2007 Fall Crew

2007-10-11T22:13:00.001-05:00

Why now???

2007-10-04T23:54:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was sick. I've had a cold for a while and it really caught up with me yesterday. I slept for about 20 hours and never left my trailer. The one good thing about being sick, however, is that all that time in bed allowed me the opportunity to discover the sheer BEAUTY and JOY of this fantastic new show called DANCING WITH THE STARS. You can watch it on ABC.com. Seriously! Where the heck have I been the past four years? That show is freaking awesome. The dancing, the has-beens, the drama, the sequins, and one really bad cover band. I'm in heaven. I almost don't want to get well....

Today's Frustration

2007-10-02T23:20:00.001-05:00

I went home this past weekend for the MS Challenge Walk, an annual event in the DC area where about 400 folks get together to walk 50 miles over 3 days to raise money and awareness in the fight against Multiple Sclerosis. It was another amazing weekend of fun, family, blisters, bananas and hope! (photos to come)

I returned last night to disaster recovery's ever present chaos. For weeks we've been working to develop a partnership with another local agency who just happened to disappear into thin air while I was out of town. Some jobs we had lined up with homeowners fell through because of mortgage foreclosure and lack of payment to the electric company and city water offices. We have volunteers in town and no work prepared for them to do. And still there are homeowners in need all over the place.

I continue to be AMAZED by the lack of organization, structure, stability in this "disaster zone". It's been two years and still the whole plan can fall apart over a long weekend and there is nothing we can do to prevent it. It just doesn't make sense. And it does.

AAARRRRGGGG.

This is what people are living through, two years after the storm.

2007-09-25T23:40:00.000-05:00

Click here to read the article.

For reasons of confidentiality, I cannot tell you the shocking details of the stories of folks down here who are dealing with contanimated FEMA trailers, but let me say this-

Two years after the storm, more than 17,000 households in Mississippi alone are still living in FEMA travel trailers and mobile homes. These trailers are making people sick. Hopsital sick. Families are taking extreme measures just to survive. Two years later. People are living in tents on their property. 82 year-olds are taking out mortgages. 72 year olds are rebuilding their own homes with mis-matched cabinets and doors found at scrap yards. Volunteer teams and funding sources continue to dwindle.

There's an agency down here called Drop In The Bucket. I think they have the right idea. But some days, I see only the bucket and not the drops.

Saturday Night in Mississippi

2007-09-22T22:33:00.001-05:00

You've got to see my pal Becca's blog entry (click here) so you'll know how much fun it is living in a PDA trailer park in Mississippi!

TD Ten

2007-09-21T21:01:00.000-05:00

It was a beautiful sunny, busy, scary day.

The Mississippi sunset was perfect.

But Tropical Depression 10 was lurking just off-shore. We're still not sure what kind of weather we're in for tonight and tomorrow. We're grateful that it never strengthened to a Tropical Storm or Hurricane. But they ordered mandatory evacuations for people living in trailers and low-lying areas anyway. They opened shelters. They started the free busing of people without means to travel out of their trailers/homes. My friends strapped down my trailer. I strapped down pods. We obsessed over the NOAA website all day!

I was nervous. For me, for our camps, for our staff, for our pets, for our homeowners, for our neighbors, for friends who work for other agencies, for local officials, for all who began to prepare. Mostly, though, I was worried about all those who survived Katrina and all that they must be feeling today. I wasn't here when the big ones have hit. I can't know what they feel hearing the warnings and evacuations come over the news. It's scary.

May the wind be gentle, the rain be light, and the storm move quickly on by us.

I'm back in Mississippi

2007-09-19T23:04:00.000-05:00

And it is just another day at the office, as evidenced by this email I received today:

TO: Mississippi VOAD Board General Membership:

Greetings:

According to the National Weather Service the tropical wave that is
currently dumping copious amounts of rain on the east coast of Florida,
causing flooding in Jacksonville and at least one tornado (last Monday) is
expected to become a surface low by tomorrow morning. The National Weather
Service believes that it is possible that this surface low will move its
way across the Florida peninsula over the next day or two and re-emerge in
the Gulf of Mexico. If this occurs it is possible that a sub-tropical or
tropical cyclone will develop in the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico. If
this happens, it is possible that this system will develop very rapidly
from a mere surface low to Tropical Depression 10 to Tropical Storm /
Category 1 Hurricane Jerry. Remember that we saw this happen just last
week when a small low pressure system developed into Category 1 Hurricane
Humberto in less than 24 hours. Therefore, it is possible that this system
may (or may not) develop into a storm that could affect the ALM Division by
as early as Friday or sometime this weekend.

According to MEMA, the National Weather Service preliminary reports say
that the area at risk from landfall stretches from Pensacola, Florida, to
Galveston, Texas. Unfortunately, the center of that risk area is the
Mississippi Gulf Coast. At this time, MEMA reports that the six coastal
counties are concerned about the effect of high winds and torrential rains
(flash flooding) on an area largely populated by FEMA trailers at this
time. The coastal counties are currently preparing a total of 23 shelters
in the event they are needed. This is currently a precautionary
preparation; they do not want to be caught by surprise as Texas was as a
result of Hurricane Humberto.

As a result, the Mississippi Emergency Management Agency (MEMA) is
tentatively planning to open the State Emergency Operations Center (SEOC)
tormorrow, Thursday, September 20, 2007. If it does open, MSVOAD will be
asked to staff its' desk at the SEOC in Pearl.

Finally, it should be noted that there is nothing certain about any of
this. It is possible that this system may dissapate over the Florida
peninsula and never re-emerge into the Gulf of Mexico or re-emerge so
weakened that it dissapates there. However, they are concerned enough
about the possible development of this storm that they believe it is
important to alert the appropriate authorities now.

As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at
your convenience.

Respectfully,
William H. Feist III
WILLIAM H. FEIST III, WB8BZH, MNCEM, NDCEM
President (2007), Mississippi Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster
(MSVOAD)
Emergency Disaster Services Director
Alabama - Louisiana - Mississippi Division
The Salvation Army, Southern Territory

==============================================

MAPS and ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Atlantic Graphical Tropical Weather Outlook
Note: This product is updated at approximately 11:30 AM and 10:30 PM EDT
Place your mouse cursor over areas of interest for more information
(Embedded image moved to file: pic13694.gif)

000
ABNT20 KNHC 190211
TWOAT
TROPICAL WEATHER OUTLOOK
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
1030 PM EDT TUE SEP 18 2007

FOR THE NORTH ATLANTIC...CARIBBEAN SEA AND THE GULF OF MEXICO...

1. A LARGE AREA OF DISTURBED WEATHER OVER THE WESTERN ATLANTIC...
NORTHERN BAHAMAS...AND THE EAST COAST OF FLORIDA IS ASSOCIATED WITH
A TROPICAL WAVE INTERACTING WITH AN UPPER-LEVEL LOW. THERE ARE NO
SIGNS OF ORGANIZATION AT THIS TIME. HOWEVER...SURFACE PRESSURES
ARE GRADUALLY FALLING AND ENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS APPEAR FAVORABLE
FOR A SUBTROPICAL OR A TROPICAL CYCLONE TO FORM OVER THE NEXT DAY
OR TWO...AS THE DISTURBANCE MOVES WESTWARD OVER FLORIDA AND INTO
THE GULF OF MEXICO. REGARDLESS OF DEVELOPMENT...THIS SYSTEM WILL
LIKELY BRING SHOWERS...SQUALLS...AND LOCALLY HEAVY RAINS OVER
PORTION OF FLORIDA DURING THE NEXT DAY OR TWO.

2. DISORGANIZED CLOUDINESS AND A FEW THUNDERSTORMS EXTENDING FROM THE
LEEWARD ISLANDS NORTHWARD FOR SEVERAL HUNDRED MILES ARE ASSOCIATED
WITH THE REMNANTS OF INGRID. UPPER-LEVEL WINDS REMAIN HIGHLY
UNFAVORABLE FOR REGENERATION OF THIS SYSTEM.

3. SHOWER AND THUNDERSTORM ACTIVITY REMAINS DISORGANIZED IN ASSOCIATION
WITH THE TROPICAL WAVE LOCATED ABOUT 600 MILES EAST OF THE LESSER
ANTILLES. UPPER-LEVEL WINDS ARE UNFAVORABLE FOR DEVELOPMENT OF
THIS SYSTEM.

ELSEWHERE...TROPICAL CYCLONE FORMATION IS NOT EXPECTED DURING THE
NEXT 48 HOURS.

$$

FORECASTER RHOME

==============================================

180
ABNT20 KNHC 191520
TWOAT
TROPICAL WEATHER OUTLOOK
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
1130 AM EDT WED SEP 19 2007

FOR THE NORTH ATLANTIC...CARIBBEAN SEA AND THE GULF OF MEXICO...

A WEAK SURFACE LOW PRESSURE AREA ALONG THE FLORIDA EAST COAST AND
AN UPPER-LEVEL LOW ARE PRODUCING A LARGE AREA OF DISTURBED WEATHER
OVER THE WESTERN ATLANTIC...THE CENTRAL AND NORTHWESTERN BAHAMAS...
PORTIONS OF THE FLORIDA PENINSULA...AND THE EASTERN GULF MEXICO.
THIS SYSTEM WILL LIKELY BRING SHOWERS...SQUALLS...AND LOCALLY HEAVY
RAINS OVER PORTIONS OF FLORIDA DURING THE NEXT DAY OR TWO. THE LOW
IS EXPECTED TO MOVE INTO OR REDEVELOP OVER THE EASTERN GULF OF
MEXICO DURING THE NEXT DAY OR SO...WHERE A SUBTROPICAL OR TROPICAL
CYCLONE COULD FORM.

DISORGANIZED CLOUDINESS AND THUNDERSTORMS EXTENDING FROM NORTH OF
THE LEEWARD ISLANDS NORTHEASTWARD FOR SEVERAL HUNDRED MILES ARE
ASSOCIATED WITH THE REMNANTS OF INGRID AND AN UPPER-LEVEL TROUGH.
UPPER-LEVEL WINDS ARE NOT FAVORABLE FOR REDEVELOPMENT OF THIS
SYSTEM.

ELSEWHERE...TROPICAL CYCLONE FORMATION IS NOT EXPECTED DURING THE
NEXT 48 HOURS.

$$

FORECASTER BROWN/BEVEN

Tonight I struck up a conversation with a random man at a random bar on 6th St in Austin:

2007-09-16T02:49:00.001-05:00

Austin Man: Pot a squat. (said while pointing at an open seat next to him)
Me: Ha, ha. (sit down anyway)
AM: Sure is nice out.
Me: Yup.
===random awkward banter about the weather in Austin ===
Me: What are the winters like here?
AM: Well, yew ever have chicken soup?
Me: Yes.
AM: Yew ever have bad chicken soup?
Me: Actually, no.
AM: It's like the chicken jest walked through it.
Me: I don't understand.
AM: Yer used to winter being cold?
Me: Yes.
AM: Folks are used to chicken soup that tastes like chicken. Austin winters are like if a chicken wore galoshes and walked through the soup. Doesn't really taste like chicken soup then. Ain't really winter here.
Me: Oh.

During my first 24 hours in Texas...

2007-09-15T02:50:00.000-05:00

We drove through a hurricane.
We marveled at the sight of some seriously huge crickets.
We toured the state capitol.
We tried to climb the UT Tower.
Lauren played with the UT Turtles.
We toured Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary.
I bought some Longhorn gear.
I two stepped with a Sweedish guy at a honkey tonk called The Broken Spoke.
I fell in love with a new country song called, "It ain't love, but it ain't bad."
I haven't been to bed before 3 am.
I ate about 4 cupcakes.
I got to meet some of Linda's family.

And I've still got two more days with these great friends to explore more!

On the road again

2007-09-12T23:46:00.000-05:00

I'm headed to Austin, TX tomorrow. I am taking this not-so-quick road trip out to visit two great friends who've just moved to this great town! I've never been to Austin before so I am pretty fired up about getting a chance to check it out. And I needed a break from Mississippi. I didn't take any time off between my YAV year and my new job, so this long weekend is the perfect opportunity to create some space and refresh for the work ahead.

And we get to drive through a tropical storm!

More from the road....

Spread the word!

2007-09-11T09:59:00.000-05:00

From The Mississippi Press
Pascagoula couple gives meaning to $1 donation
Thursday, September 06, 2007
By SARA FRYE
PASCAGOULA -- Sitting in the remnants of what used to be her shed, Mary Jones, 65, waits with the possessions she has left.

Her Pascagoula home was destroyed in Hurricane Katrina, and it had to be demolished. All of her clothes are stored in a makeshift shed assembled from the remains of an existing structure and pieces of plywood. The small, open building is where she and her husband sit and watch the neighbors go by.

"We don't have no bad neighbors, that's one thing good about it," Mary Jones said. "We just sit out here and watch. That's what we're used to."

Mary and her husband, Oliver Jones, 64, can no longer stay in the Federal Emergency Management Agency travel trailer near the slab of their old house. Oliver Jones' pre-existing poor health was made worse by the formaldehyde in the trailer, Mary Jones said.

"My husband's been sick ever since we've been in it," Mary Jones said.

Oliver Jones suffers from high blood pressure, diabetes and Lupus, said Mary Jones, and he has had three heart attacks since the storm. He had one heart attack before the storm.

Mary Jones is in the process of taking her possessions out of the FEMA trailer and putting them in her shed.

"The hardest part is I ain't got no house," Mary Jones said.

The volunteer organizations still working toward recovery in Mississippi came together to start a fund that would help the Jones' and the entire state recover from Hurricane Katrina.

The Finish the Job fund began on Aug. 31 to raise $1 from every American to finish the rebuilding of safe, sanitary and secure housing in Mississippi.

"If everyone in America gave a dollar, that would equal about $300 million," said Michelle Wilson executive director of Rebuild Jackson County Long Term Recovery Agency. "We figure that would be enough to finish the job in Mississippi."

The fund is designed to fill in the gaps from other funding sources, Wilson said, including furniture, utilities, surveys and elevators.

The Jones will need an elevator or a lift installed, when their home is built. The house will have to be elevated six feet off the ground and Oliver Jones will not be able to climb up stairs to his new home.

The funding sources that do exist will soon be moving on to help people suffering from other disasters, and so will the volunteers, Wilson said.

"We're running out of time, and we're running out of money. We need to get people back in their homes," Wilson said.

"Two years after the storm we're still finding families that have given up on finding funding or repairing their homes," said Vickie White, case manager supervisor for the United Methodist Disaster Response Team. "There's still a great need here for not only funding, but volunteers as well."

Before Rebuild Jackson County began helping the Jones, three weeks ago, they were waiting for a grant to come through.

PDA is working with Rebuild Jackson County and other Long Term Recovery agencies along the Mississippi Gulf Coast to spread the word about this fund! For more information about the Finish the Job Fund click here!

Lunch, maybe

2007-09-07T20:27:00.000-05:00

The other day Becca and I were trying to make lunch. With no volunteers at the camp right now, food is slim pickings, unless we actually get off our butts and go to the grocery store. That doesn't happen often.

So we found this in the freezer:

And we tried to make it, but it came out like this:

So we tasted it:

It was not good and we did not eat it. Ick. We need those volunteers to come back. Now! To rebuild the Gulf Coast, yeh, yeh, but also so that Becca and I don't have to eat gunk like this.

Read This

2007-09-02T11:37:00.000-05:00

http://www.sunherald.com/411/story/128363.html

2 Years After Katrina (August 29, 2007)

2007-09-01T16:07:00.000-05:00

It's taken me a few days to post this, because as everything else down here, I'm a bit slow right now. Not because I am lazy or tired, but because we've been so busy.

I decided the night before Aug. 29th to do a photo essay of the day. It was the only way I thought I'd be able to describe what I saw, what the coast saw that day. So I took the photos you'll see below. I planned on posting them that very night with some profound thoughts about the day, but after getting up early for a sunrise service, working hard all day demo-ing the church that will become PDA's 6th work camp, praying and eating with friends/co-workers, and settling in for the night, I realized I hadn't brought my camera cord with me. Work teams who come to the coast learn early on most Monday mornings that missing one small tool can change your whole day. I packed for that day at 5:30 in the morning, intending to spent one night away from my lovely new trailer. I just got home about an hour ago, 4 days later.

Living on the coast after Katrina I've learned that great plans fail. Bad plans and worse, no plans, sometimes succeed. Great and poor plans change. All the time. What I thought I'd do today (go to the office and catch up) fell second to what needed to be done today (destroy a village in order to be ready to build again). And, the kicker is that all this could be done with or without me. At any moment. But since I choose to be here, I've got to be ready for the changes, the failures and the surprise successes. Huh, I guess that's life anywhere.... good one....

So please click here to see my day, August 29th, two years post-Katrina:

Tomorrow is the two year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.

2007-08-28T17:28:00.000-05:00

Click here to see what they're doing on the Gulf Coast.

Click here to see what's going on in New Orleans.

Click here to see what PDA has been up to and how you can get involved.

Click here to see how you can be prepared for a disaster in your area.

Photos of my new home!

2007-08-26T23:17:00.000-05:00

Click here to check them out!

Transitions

2007-08-23T22:03:00.000-05:00

After weeks of goodbyes, two closing retreats, two moves, five states, a weekend full of precautionary evacuation preparations, one new office, and a whole new but still the same life back and starting, I thought it was about time that I throw something up on the ole blog. Bear with me though, because my head is still spinning and I am typing around boxes to procrastinate unpacking.

As the three people who read this blog know, I have completed my year as a volunteer with the Presbyterian Church on the Gulf Coast and I have started a year working with the Presbyterian Church on the Gulf Coast.

It's a change. It's not a change.

It's a transition. It is hard and lovely and confusing and exciting and terrifying and fun.

Just as there is no way to sum up an entire year's worth of feelings, memories, learnings, relationships, etc., there is no way I can properly describe how this transition is going for me, so I've avoided it. And I've re-written it fifteen times in my head. I so want to share every bit of this experience with you who love me, but I can't come close to finding the words to explain it. I have had no free time to sort out my feelings, but I have had too much time talking with friends to sort out my feelings. I've processed and avoided and run those laps around several times over.

Here's what I can figure, what I can admit, what I can offer and what I can share:

Leaving the apartment sucked. I miss my roommates terribly. I miss our random chats and eating meals together. But I am loving some quiet and alone time in the trailer. I love having my own space! And on my first day at Orange Grove I received a package of artwork and well wishes from the kids back at DMPC (my home church) that made me feel so loved, right off the bat. I'm not used to the bugs yet, though. Seriously, the cockroaches?!

Leaving the Presbytery was complicated. I'd struggled so much working there, but I loved the I homeowners I worked with dearly, I believe in what is getting done, and I'd put my heart and soul into that place for almost a year. It wasn't a pleasant goodbye and that still breaks my heart. My spirits were wiped when I arrived at my new post. Completely drained. But coming to PDA has been incredible. They have been so supportive and excited to have me on board. I'm just getting my feet wet and there is so much to learn, but they trust that I will learn and figure it out and that support is remarkable.

Leaving Handsboro Church/St. Peter's By The Sea isn't happening, but it is. I'm only living a few minutes away, but I'm not there every day and already I feel like a stranger when I drive by the church. Edward and Sarah, the priests at St. Peter's and my two great rocks of spiritual support this past year have both moved in the past two months. I was so blessed to have their love, support, advice, friendship and example in my life this year and I really don't know how to live on the coast without them. They are my models of God's Love down here, and while I know there are a million other angels working on the coast, many of whom I already know and love, transitioning out of the Edward and Sarah days has brought me to tears quite a few times already.

With my volunteer program ending, many of my friends have moved away. Brenna and Linda have been gone for weeks and I miss them all the time. Sarah Ann's departure had me crying in the McDonald's parking lot last weekend. It's been more than a week since I spoke to George and I no longer have funny morning conversations with Kerry before we go to work. I have no idea when I will see some of my dear friends (Linger, Sue, Jaymie) again. On the other hand, I've already gotten to know Becca and Melodie better, Lauren is about to move to within 30 miles of me, and the three of them welcomed me to trailer life with a rockin' girl's night party that I really believe will set the tone for the next few months! And, I am ready to be done with some of the drama and to receive a real pay check again. Soon the new volunteer batch will be here and I will transition into be a has-been. Yay, my crow's feet are thrilled!

This transition is full of little changes and big changes and no changes and I'm still in the middle of it. The beauty is that there is beauty on both sides. I have lovely memories to smile about and plenty of opportunity to look forward to. Thanks to God, indeed.

If I could just force myself to unpack those last few boxes......

Photos above:
1. Hiking at our YAV closing retreat in New Mexico with my roommates.
2. PDA party.
3. and 4. Girl's night in my new trailer.

MOVING!

2007-08-08T17:25:00.000-05:00

much more to come....

Some photos from our closing retreat in Pensacola

2007-08-05T23:14:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Linger and Laur for sharing these pics!

A letter to DMPC

2007-08-05T22:48:00.000-05:00

I sent this letter to my church this morning to be read by my sister during worship, as she does with all my updates. It got me thinking, though, that I have so many people to thank. To all of you who've been there this year, I love you! This letter is for you too...(more personal notes to come, as soon as I get done with all the airplanes!)

Dear Friends,

Good morning! I am writing to you this morning from the sunny beaches of Pensacola, Florida. I am here on my volunteer group’s closing retreat. We’ve enjoyed a weekend full of worship, fellowship, fun and sun. It is really just the first step, however, in processing the closing of our year of service. The next few days will be very busy for each of us, and me in particular. I suppose that is where I should start today: with the big news!

When my program ends on Aug. 15th I won’t be packing my car and hitting the long road back to Maryland. That trip will now be delayed as I have accepted a call to stay on the coast and serve our great church for another year. Actually, I am leaving Florida this afternoon to head out to Louisville, Kentucky to attend orientation at the PC(USA) headquarters. I will start my new position as Case Management Liaison with Presbyterian Disaster Assistance on August 16th. I am overwhelmingly thrilled about this new opportunity to continue doing work I love with people I love and be able to contribute God’s Gulf Coast recovery plan.

But before I get too far ahead, let me first back up… The only way I could even consider signing on for another year in Mississippi was because of the incredible support and love you shared with me that made my first year here so great. I’ll never be able to thank each of you properly for all that your words, thoughts, prayers, financial contributions, packages, notes, emails, and visits meant to me. I’ve always found it so easy to give. One of the many lessons that you and the great people of the Gulf Coast taught me this year is how to receive. I’ve never been comfortable receiving prayers, donations, or well wishes, but this year I really needed that care and it felt wonderful to accept your love and generosity. It is because of that love and generosity that I have the energy, heart, and strength to continue on in service here, knowing that you will lift me up so that I may lift up others, and God will carry us all. It’s amazing! Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving the coast.

As I turn to the next steps- orientation in Louisville, one day back at the apartment to pack, a closing retreat with all of the PC(USA) Young Adult Volunteers in New Mexico, moving, saying goodbye to friends and homeowners, and starting the new job- please keep me and my fellow Gulf Coast Mission volunteers in your prayers. And look for many more updates to come from a displaced Dickeyvillian who’s missing you dearly….

All my love,
Erin

Hairspray!

2007-07-31T22:13:00.000-05:00

Have you seen the new movie yet? I'm loving it. Tonight I saw it for the third time. I never do that. It is too fun. And Lauren is a doll and gifted me the soundtrack. So now, instead of speaking, I sing Hairspray. Instead of walking, I dance Hairspray. It is good stuff.

This movie has been making me smile for a few days, but that's not it. Today I realized that I've been down-right giddy lately, and not just due to the joy of the return of the screen musical....there's a lot of excitement and hope going on down here.

I've got a new job and a plan for the next year. My friends all found out where they'll be living/serving on the coast for the next several months. They are staying close! I made a great new contact at a Long Term Recovery meeting today. Then, at the same meeting, they announced two new grants available to help homeowners rebuild. I met with a homeowner who saved almost all of her FEMA money and so we'll be able to start her rebuild ASAP. Lauren's moving to Mississippi. Em and Nick are moving to Mississippi. I'm smiling. I don't remember the last time I was this excited about anything down here. It is a new feeling.

And I'm diggin' it. Almost enough to make up a catchy song and dance.

Love.

2007-07-30T09:10:00.000-05:00

Click here to read about my boyfriend.

Follow this!

2007-07-29T23:20:00.000-05:00

Girls Night Out on Frenchman St followed by great girl talk on the floor of the Jenna St. shot-gun followed by several hours of uninterrupted sleep followed by more girl talk on the floor while staying in jammies until noon followed by a tasty lunch on Magazine St followed by the incident with the door at the Walgreen's followed by the incident with the bird at the A&P followed by the incident with Kerry attacking me in public in broad daylight followed by the purchase of new sunglasses at the French Market followed by walking all over the French Quarter in the late afternoon Louisiana heat interspersed with browsing old book stores and local music stores and authentic voodoo stores followed by frozen drinks and beignets at Cafe Beignet followed by a Hurricane at Pat O'Brien's with my cousin and his friends followed by dinner at Snug Harbor laced with fammered humor and wild hysterics followed by the clown car ride to Tipitinas and hours of amazing live local free music accompanied by raucous dancing with my favorite booty-shakers and several Abita Restoration Ales and one serious crush on a man named Trombone Shorty followed by a late car ride home chatting with one dear roommate followed by a very few hours sleep followed by a worship service and then reception honoring a man who's worked in the recovery efforts on the coast for over a year and a half and is now headed to seminary followed by several chocolate covered strawberries and just as many brownies followed by a lazy afternoon at home reading the paper followed by a movie slash nap with friends followed by football and dinner on the beach with my roommates including some much needed and enjoyed reminiscing time followed by the start of the great Mississippi packing adventure of 2007 hopefully followed by some serious zzzzzzzzzs.

It's official!

2007-07-25T17:47:00.001-05:00

I'm staying on the Gulf Coast for one more year!

I've accepted a staff position with Presbyterian Disaster Assistance and will be continuing to help our church help our neighbors for another 12 months, at least. I'm super excited about the job, the work, the agency, the people, and the whole situation. While I will miss my family and my Dickey Memorial family terribly, I know that I'll be in good hands with my new Mississippi family!

And y'all can come visit anytime, y'hear?!

Many thanks to all of you who have supported, loved and prayed for me throughout this year. I love you so much!

Yay!